Here we have it, the all time winner. From this point on, nothing the human race does on the internet will rival this website. That's right, a work poop calculator. I'm sure that when Charles Babbage laid out his plans for a computing device 180 years ago, it was so we could determine exactly how much money we were paid to poop at work. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the pinnacle of human achievement.
2011-08-19
2011-05-01
Osama Bin Laden is dead. Why does this feel like a hollow victory? Will it bring back any of the people that died in the towers ten years ago? Does it make up for the soldiers that have died in Afghanistan? Is it worth the destruction of the US economy?
I wonder who really won this war. Bin Laden stayed on the run so long that the US had to drag out it's operations in Afghanistan and Pakistan for nearly 10 years. At a cost of one to three trillion dollars, it is the costliest conflict in American history. Our national debt has tripled, unemployment has doubled from historically low rates around 4.5% to hovering around 10%, we're more divided now than we ever have been, and we have fewer freedoms than we did in 2001. We cannot travel by air without removing our shoes and being subjected to radiation or invasive pat downs. Our communications are constantly monitored by our government. And let's not forget the costliest part of this: 1500+ American servicemen and women have died since the US began operations in Afghanistan. Not to mention tens of thousands of Afghanis (nobody seems to be keeping track of that number, for some reason.)
What have we gained by removing another human from the planet? Are we more secure? Will my taxes go down? Can we bring those soldiers home from Afghanistan, finally? It occurred to me, watching the President speak, that many of those men involved in this operation were barely boys when 9/11 happened. They were 10 - 15 years old. And now here they are, "winning" the war on terror, as much as such a thing can be won. What have we won? Bragging rights? I'll tell you one thing: I don't feel more secure. If anything, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I want to say that I feel ashamed of my fellow Americans who are taking to the street to celebrate this like their team just won the Super Bowl. As flawed as he was, Osama Bin Laden was still a human being, and we should never celebrate the taking of a human life, no matter how twisted or evil it was. When one person's death becomes something to celebrate, all people's lives are cheapened. If these people had been Muslims celebrating the death of an American, we would be condemning them. Let's show the world that we are the more civilized and compassionate, that we understand the value of human life, all human life, and tell these people to go home. Go home, hug your loved ones, and be thankful for every day.
"Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction.... The chain reaction of evil — hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I wonder who really won this war. Bin Laden stayed on the run so long that the US had to drag out it's operations in Afghanistan and Pakistan for nearly 10 years. At a cost of one to three trillion dollars, it is the costliest conflict in American history. Our national debt has tripled, unemployment has doubled from historically low rates around 4.5% to hovering around 10%, we're more divided now than we ever have been, and we have fewer freedoms than we did in 2001. We cannot travel by air without removing our shoes and being subjected to radiation or invasive pat downs. Our communications are constantly monitored by our government. And let's not forget the costliest part of this: 1500+ American servicemen and women have died since the US began operations in Afghanistan. Not to mention tens of thousands of Afghanis (nobody seems to be keeping track of that number, for some reason.)
What have we gained by removing another human from the planet? Are we more secure? Will my taxes go down? Can we bring those soldiers home from Afghanistan, finally? It occurred to me, watching the President speak, that many of those men involved in this operation were barely boys when 9/11 happened. They were 10 - 15 years old. And now here they are, "winning" the war on terror, as much as such a thing can be won. What have we won? Bragging rights? I'll tell you one thing: I don't feel more secure. If anything, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I want to say that I feel ashamed of my fellow Americans who are taking to the street to celebrate this like their team just won the Super Bowl. As flawed as he was, Osama Bin Laden was still a human being, and we should never celebrate the taking of a human life, no matter how twisted or evil it was. When one person's death becomes something to celebrate, all people's lives are cheapened. If these people had been Muslims celebrating the death of an American, we would be condemning them. Let's show the world that we are the more civilized and compassionate, that we understand the value of human life, all human life, and tell these people to go home. Go home, hug your loved ones, and be thankful for every day.
"Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction.... The chain reaction of evil — hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."
Martin Luther King, Jr.
2010-08-25
So, I'm at the bar the other day, and by the front door I notice this box of leaflets. Penny savers, you know, the kind that have a bunch of ads for local businesses and other semi useless crap. Well, this particular one grabs my attention because the headline is written in 1" high flames: "TOLERANT... YOU WANT US TO BE TOLERANT? TOLERATE THIS!." So I think to myself, this should be good, and I grab a copy on my way out.
The article is written by the publisher and presumably the editor as well, a Mr. Robert Beierle. This fellow goes on to complain about all the "liberals" in the world who are "demanding" that he, and his fellow "legal" American citizens, tolerate Muslims and homosexuals and "whacko environmentalists" and illegal immigrants. He spends two pages ranting about the Cordoba House project, a community center being built in lower Manhattan. He accuses Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf (a prominent NY Muslim cleric, who has not only spoken out against the radicalization of Islam, but also assisted the FBI in fighting it) of being a terrorist and channeling money to terrorist groups. He then goes on to call Michael Bloomberg, Mayor of New York City, a "butthole" for supporting the First Amendment rights of Muslims.
Mr. Beierle does make one good point though: we have here a group of people who follow a religion that stones homosexuals, adulterers, and heretics (literally); and is so intolerant of other religions that they've been fighting holy wars for 1400 years, yet they ask us for the tolerance to practice their religion. Now, I know that this is the type of fanaticism that Imam Rauf is trying to downplay, but it does happen. Just like Christian fanatics bomb abortion centers, and Jewish fanatics build walls and camps. So maybe we should look at what we tolerate before we start pointing fingers at what others will tolerate, hmm?
Now, this whole "Ground Zero Mosque" thing has been blown way out of proportion by the media and certain politicians who can sense their 15 minutes expiring and are stretching them as long as possible. Personally, I think that anyone who doesn't live in New York or didn't lose someone on 9/11/01 should just keep their big nose out of it, because it has absolutely no affect on your life. I could write an entire post on the rest of what I think about this situation, but a nice man over at Cracked.com (of all places) has already summed it up pretty well.
The rant then veers off on another topic: gay marriage. Mr. Beierle seems to think that the recent ruling on Proposition 8 in California is a case of a judge legislating from the bench. His argument is that the people spoke, and a judge came in and changed the law based on his personal bias. Never mind that the law itself was unconstitutional, or that it discriminated based on sexual orientation. This is clearly another case of liberals shoving their ideals down the throats of God fearing, legal, Christian American tax-paying citizens!
Look, what it comes down to is this: Mr. Beierle says he's ok with "union ceremonies" (whatever that might be), which would probably be just dandy in the eyes of most homosexuals, if those "union ceremonies" carried the same legal rights as a marriage ceremony. But they don't. What we're talking about here is a legal definition, which has nothing to do with your religious beliefs, so I'll make you a deal here: I won't start a religion based on the American legal system if you won't write laws based on your religious beliefs, ok?
There's more here, about Michele Obama, and people in uniform, and illegal immigrants... it just goes on and on. I won't bore you with the rest, but suffice to say it's a rant that would have made Goebbels proud. What I'm really getting at here is this: I hope, Mr. Robert Beierle of Creative Insight (a most ironic name), that you have enjoyed your rant. I hope that you enjoy your First Amendment rights to free speech, religion, and press; rights you would deny others because they don't share your beliefs. I may not like what you say, and I think you are ignorant and sad, but I will tolerate you saying it, because it is your right, and to deny yours would cheapen mine. I would hope that you might read this, but apparently you haven't figured out the Internet just yet. That's ok, maybe someone will print it out for you.
"Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population."
The article is written by the publisher and presumably the editor as well, a Mr. Robert Beierle. This fellow goes on to complain about all the "liberals" in the world who are "demanding" that he, and his fellow "legal" American citizens, tolerate Muslims and homosexuals and "whacko environmentalists" and illegal immigrants. He spends two pages ranting about the Cordoba House project, a community center being built in lower Manhattan. He accuses Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf (a prominent NY Muslim cleric, who has not only spoken out against the radicalization of Islam, but also assisted the FBI in fighting it) of being a terrorist and channeling money to terrorist groups. He then goes on to call Michael Bloomberg, Mayor of New York City, a "butthole" for supporting the First Amendment rights of Muslims.
Mr. Beierle does make one good point though: we have here a group of people who follow a religion that stones homosexuals, adulterers, and heretics (literally); and is so intolerant of other religions that they've been fighting holy wars for 1400 years, yet they ask us for the tolerance to practice their religion. Now, I know that this is the type of fanaticism that Imam Rauf is trying to downplay, but it does happen. Just like Christian fanatics bomb abortion centers, and Jewish fanatics build walls and camps. So maybe we should look at what we tolerate before we start pointing fingers at what others will tolerate, hmm?
Now, this whole "Ground Zero Mosque" thing has been blown way out of proportion by the media and certain politicians who can sense their 15 minutes expiring and are stretching them as long as possible. Personally, I think that anyone who doesn't live in New York or didn't lose someone on 9/11/01 should just keep their big nose out of it, because it has absolutely no affect on your life. I could write an entire post on the rest of what I think about this situation, but a nice man over at Cracked.com (of all places) has already summed it up pretty well.
The rant then veers off on another topic: gay marriage. Mr. Beierle seems to think that the recent ruling on Proposition 8 in California is a case of a judge legislating from the bench. His argument is that the people spoke, and a judge came in and changed the law based on his personal bias. Never mind that the law itself was unconstitutional, or that it discriminated based on sexual orientation. This is clearly another case of liberals shoving their ideals down the throats of God fearing, legal, Christian American tax-paying citizens!
Look, what it comes down to is this: Mr. Beierle says he's ok with "union ceremonies" (whatever that might be), which would probably be just dandy in the eyes of most homosexuals, if those "union ceremonies" carried the same legal rights as a marriage ceremony. But they don't. What we're talking about here is a legal definition, which has nothing to do with your religious beliefs, so I'll make you a deal here: I won't start a religion based on the American legal system if you won't write laws based on your religious beliefs, ok?
There's more here, about Michele Obama, and people in uniform, and illegal immigrants... it just goes on and on. I won't bore you with the rest, but suffice to say it's a rant that would have made Goebbels proud. What I'm really getting at here is this: I hope, Mr. Robert Beierle of Creative Insight (a most ironic name), that you have enjoyed your rant. I hope that you enjoy your First Amendment rights to free speech, religion, and press; rights you would deny others because they don't share your beliefs. I may not like what you say, and I think you are ignorant and sad, but I will tolerate you saying it, because it is your right, and to deny yours would cheapen mine. I would hope that you might read this, but apparently you haven't figured out the Internet just yet. That's ok, maybe someone will print it out for you.
"Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population."
2010-08-24
Welcome to today's episode of Profiles in Stupidity. On our show today, a man from Parsippany, NJ who was arrested by police after asking them to search his home. What did they find? Crack vials and hypodermic needles! Parsippany police give man a ride, bust him for drugs.
That's right. This dude was wandering around on Route 46, trying to get someone to let him use their cell phone, when the cops pulled up. He explained that he was trying to call a friend to get a ride home. They offered him a ride, as he was endangering himself walking on a busy highway. When they got there, he asked them to enter the house, because the back door was open. When the police entered the house, they found "several hypodermic needles on the floor, vials containing a white powder residue and a pipe normally used for smoking crack cocaine."
Of course, they arrested the man. My question for you, dear reader, is this: who is the real moron here? Is it the man who asked police to enter his home when he knew he had needles and other paraphernalia lying around? The police officer, who didn't stop to think that maybe whomever left the door open might have also left the drugs in this man's home, that maybe the paraphernalia wasn't his? Or the reporter who couldn't be bothered to research his story and actually answer some of these pertinent questions?
Go read the article. I'll post the link again : Parsippany police give man a ride, bust him for drugs. Nowhere in there does the author mention if the suspect was on drugs, tested for drugs, or even acting strangely. Other than being out on the highway, looking for a ride home, we know nothing of the man's behavior that seems out of the ordinary. Even that is not really odd, considering the man was on foot 3 miles from home. We don't know how he got there. Did he walk? Maybe his car broke down. Did he get off the bus at the wrong stop? Or maybe he was so hopped up on crack that he walked for 3 miles before realizing it, and as he came down decided he needed a ride home. We'll never know.
I like to think the police in my community are somewhat intelligent people, that they don't just go around arresting people without cause. I mean, at the very least, it's a lot of paperwork that needs to be filled out. When I see this a few days later, it really makes me think. Maybe there's something going on here. Maybe the police are just arresting people because they have nothing better to do. I try to give police officers the benefit of the doubt; after all, they're putting their lives on the line to try to protect people. But when my news source is so inaccurate, when the reporter can't even get the basic facts of a story, it makes me wonder who I can trust.
People wonder why newspapers in the US are dying. They wonder why more and more of our news comes from the internet and cable TV. I can't speak for most Americans. I think that cable and network TV news is a load of crap. These two articles are an example of a plague that is killing newspaper reporting. The more newspapers try to be like the cable TV news, to try and distill and distort the news into little sound bites, the more people will stop reading. The more people will come to blogs like this one, which is more editorial than actual news.
Oh, and then there's this.
"Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense."
Gertrude Stein
That's right. This dude was wandering around on Route 46, trying to get someone to let him use their cell phone, when the cops pulled up. He explained that he was trying to call a friend to get a ride home. They offered him a ride, as he was endangering himself walking on a busy highway. When they got there, he asked them to enter the house, because the back door was open. When the police entered the house, they found "several hypodermic needles on the floor, vials containing a white powder residue and a pipe normally used for smoking crack cocaine."
Of course, they arrested the man. My question for you, dear reader, is this: who is the real moron here? Is it the man who asked police to enter his home when he knew he had needles and other paraphernalia lying around? The police officer, who didn't stop to think that maybe whomever left the door open might have also left the drugs in this man's home, that maybe the paraphernalia wasn't his? Or the reporter who couldn't be bothered to research his story and actually answer some of these pertinent questions?
Go read the article. I'll post the link again : Parsippany police give man a ride, bust him for drugs. Nowhere in there does the author mention if the suspect was on drugs, tested for drugs, or even acting strangely. Other than being out on the highway, looking for a ride home, we know nothing of the man's behavior that seems out of the ordinary. Even that is not really odd, considering the man was on foot 3 miles from home. We don't know how he got there. Did he walk? Maybe his car broke down. Did he get off the bus at the wrong stop? Or maybe he was so hopped up on crack that he walked for 3 miles before realizing it, and as he came down decided he needed a ride home. We'll never know.
I like to think the police in my community are somewhat intelligent people, that they don't just go around arresting people without cause. I mean, at the very least, it's a lot of paperwork that needs to be filled out. When I see this a few days later, it really makes me think. Maybe there's something going on here. Maybe the police are just arresting people because they have nothing better to do. I try to give police officers the benefit of the doubt; after all, they're putting their lives on the line to try to protect people. But when my news source is so inaccurate, when the reporter can't even get the basic facts of a story, it makes me wonder who I can trust.
People wonder why newspapers in the US are dying. They wonder why more and more of our news comes from the internet and cable TV. I can't speak for most Americans. I think that cable and network TV news is a load of crap. These two articles are an example of a plague that is killing newspaper reporting. The more newspapers try to be like the cable TV news, to try and distill and distort the news into little sound bites, the more people will stop reading. The more people will come to blogs like this one, which is more editorial than actual news.
Oh, and then there's this.
"Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense."
Gertrude Stein
2010-07-09
Here we are, day off in Liege, Belgium. What a boring town. There's a pretty park, but not much else. I think the most interesting thing I saw today was a guy eating a waffle. In Belgium. Get it? Compared to the last few days, it's a huge let down.
View from my hotel room in Liege.First, we have Venice. Holy cow, what a beautiful city. Just awesome. We took a water taxi into the city, and it went directly to the hotel. It was so cool. The hotel was just amazing, all kinds of Italian Neo-Classical architecture, and about 200 yards from Piazza San Marco.
Oh my god, I am so small.
Which, by the way, was incredible. Intimidating, beautiful, wonderful, fascinating: I don't know how many more adjectives I have. There was more than one point where someone said that it was like a Disney ride, except real. Which is a hell of a compliment to Disney, I guess. Our drum tech, Simeon, knew someone in the city, so we got to see some parts that most tourists don't. It was fantastic. I had dinner on the roof of the hotel with Ben and the rest of the band, and some crew members. It was such an amazing view of the city, right on the main canal. There was a sea gull that sat right at the corner of our table the entire meal. All I could think of was Jonathan seagull and my grandmother. I get the feeling she was there, watching out for me.
From there, we went to Montreaux, Switzerland. The famed Montreaux Jazz Fest, where they booed Stevie Ray Vaughan. I ran into a couple of guys from Jupiter One, who are playing with Regina Spektor's band, which was pretty cool.
The festival was put together so well, and everything was great, until about half way through the set. The band was playing a song called "Keep it Together." There's a part in the song where it breaks down, and turns into a long guitar solo, and then blasts into a big restore and chorus. Well, right about the part with the big restore, the guitar rig decides to blow a fuse. Ben, in a most professional way, looks at the crowd and says "You gotta keep it together!" and cues off a drum solo. While the guitar techs run around and fix the problem, Jordan, the drummer, pulls out this fantastic drum solo, and the song conitnutes after the guitar rig gets fixed. One of the most incredible moments of live theatre that I've ever been a part of. And, it turns out, Quincy Jones came out to see the show. He was blown away by the set. He actually hung out with us until 4AM. At Montreaux. I'd swear it was all a dream, except for the photos and autographs that were still there the next morning.
S0, yeah. Mom and Dad, Europe sucks, and I can't wait to come home. No, really.
"I can't complain, but sometimes I still do."
Joe Walsh
From there, we went to Montreaux, Switzerland. The famed Montreaux Jazz Fest, where they booed Stevie Ray Vaughan. I ran into a couple of guys from Jupiter One, who are playing with Regina Spektor's band, which was pretty cool.
The festival was put together so well, and everything was great, until about half way through the set. The band was playing a song called "Keep it Together." There's a part in the song where it breaks down, and turns into a long guitar solo, and then blasts into a big restore and chorus. Well, right about the part with the big restore, the guitar rig decides to blow a fuse. Ben, in a most professional way, looks at the crowd and says "You gotta keep it together!" and cues off a drum solo. While the guitar techs run around and fix the problem, Jordan, the drummer, pulls out this fantastic drum solo, and the song conitnutes after the guitar rig gets fixed. One of the most incredible moments of live theatre that I've ever been a part of. And, it turns out, Quincy Jones came out to see the show. He was blown away by the set. He actually hung out with us until 4AM. At Montreaux. I'd swear it was all a dream, except for the photos and autographs that were still there the next morning.
S0, yeah. Mom and Dad, Europe sucks, and I can't wait to come home. No, really.
"I can't complain, but sometimes I still do."
Joe Walsh
2010-06-28
Wow. Europe. The Old World.
We started in Dublin, and it was pretty cool. I went to the Guinness Storehouse, which was the original brewery and still has some active distribution on site. I got there at about 6 pm, only to find that it was closed. Isn't that just my luck? Fortunately, I didn't have to be on the bus until 11 the next morning, so I got there at 9:30 am when it opened and made sure to have a good look around. It was awesome. Dublin itself was a pretty cool town. I think I could live there.
Next was Belfast. Didn't really look around much in Belfast, kinda scared to. I know that peace has come to Ireland and all that, but I still didn't really want to wander too much there. Great crowd though. And a fun show. This whole opening band thing is kinda cool: our show is finished by 9 pm latest, and then I get to watch Pearl Jam or just hang out.
On to London: first a ferry ride, for which I was way too drunk (I recall doing aerobics at some point, just trying to stay awake. It didn't work very well.) and then a half day off in London. Not too bad, I guess, but London can be so blah. Big show in Hyde Park tho, look for it on VH1.
Next to Amsterdam. Nice town, Amsterdam. Very mellow. Lots of Americans. All looking for pot. Weed and Heineken, it's like a frat boy's wet dream. Still, one of the crew guys knew a local, and so we found some real Amsterdam, and it was pretty cool.
Today: Berlin. I went to do laundry. The hotel gave me directions to a laundromat that was 2 km from the hotel; nearly a mile. Since it was a beautiful day, I decided to walk. I got to the place; the sign outside said "waschsalon". I walked in, and there were 6 old men playing dominoes or some other tile game; none of whom spoke English or could tell me anything about the waschsalon. Whatever. So I walk back to the hotel and hang out.
It wasn't until later tonight, as I was walking out of the mall that I had dinner in (at the Irish Pub, no less), and I walked past a piece of the Berlin wall that the real history of this place hit me. I think I need to bust out a map tomorrow and find Checkpoint Charlie and get a few good pics.
"Berlin is the testicle of the West. When I want the West to scream, I squeeze on Berlin."
Nikita Khrushchev (1894 - 1971)
We started in Dublin, and it was pretty cool. I went to the Guinness Storehouse, which was the original brewery and still has some active distribution on site. I got there at about 6 pm, only to find that it was closed. Isn't that just my luck? Fortunately, I didn't have to be on the bus until 11 the next morning, so I got there at 9:30 am when it opened and made sure to have a good look around. It was awesome. Dublin itself was a pretty cool town. I think I could live there.
Next was Belfast. Didn't really look around much in Belfast, kinda scared to. I know that peace has come to Ireland and all that, but I still didn't really want to wander too much there. Great crowd though. And a fun show. This whole opening band thing is kinda cool: our show is finished by 9 pm latest, and then I get to watch Pearl Jam or just hang out.
On to London: first a ferry ride, for which I was way too drunk (I recall doing aerobics at some point, just trying to stay awake. It didn't work very well.) and then a half day off in London. Not too bad, I guess, but London can be so blah. Big show in Hyde Park tho, look for it on VH1.
Next to Amsterdam. Nice town, Amsterdam. Very mellow. Lots of Americans. All looking for pot. Weed and Heineken, it's like a frat boy's wet dream. Still, one of the crew guys knew a local, and so we found some real Amsterdam, and it was pretty cool.
Today: Berlin. I went to do laundry. The hotel gave me directions to a laundromat that was 2 km from the hotel; nearly a mile. Since it was a beautiful day, I decided to walk. I got to the place; the sign outside said "waschsalon". I walked in, and there were 6 old men playing dominoes or some other tile game; none of whom spoke English or could tell me anything about the waschsalon. Whatever. So I walk back to the hotel and hang out.
It wasn't until later tonight, as I was walking out of the mall that I had dinner in (at the Irish Pub, no less), and I walked past a piece of the Berlin wall that the real history of this place hit me. I think I need to bust out a map tomorrow and find Checkpoint Charlie and get a few good pics.
"Berlin is the testicle of the West. When I want the West to scream, I squeeze on Berlin."
Nikita Khrushchev (1894 - 1971)
2010-05-24
2010-02-21
In today's episode of stupid corporate practices, we turn the spotlight on NBC and Cablevision. For whatever reason, NBC has decided to take one of the most talked about ice hockey games of the year and air it on MSNBC. I'm talking about the USA vs. Canada Olympic matchup, which is taking place right now (US 2 Canada 1, 1st intermission). Now, I don't have cable, because I just can't justify paying $90/ month for 100 channels of crap that I won't watch just so I can have one or two that I might. Besides, I can get most of the entertainment I want from Netflix. So you may be wondering how I know the score, or the time of the game: I'm streaming the game, live, on my computer, from Russian TV. Why Russian TV? Well, you see, Cablevision has decided that since I don't pay for the basic cable package, I don't qualify to stream the game on my computer. Yeah. That's right. If I had the cable package, I could just watch the game on my TV. But I can't even stream the game unless I have the basic cable package. Stupid, right?
Here's where it gets even worse: NBC could be making a ton of money from ad revenue on the streams. All they would have to do is make it free, and put ads at the beginning, and between periods. Just like Hulu. But no. These Olympics could be a boon to hockey in the US. NBC would stand to profit from that, since they own the NHL broadcast rights. But instead, they'd rather bury it on a cable channel most Americans can't even find (have you seen MSNBC's ratings lately? )
Well, that's my rant. We'll see where my email to Cablevision gets me (probably nowhere, but at least I'll feel better). Way to drop the ball, NBC. Maybe by the 2036 games you'll be up to speed. If you haven't gone out of business by then.
Here's where it gets even worse: NBC could be making a ton of money from ad revenue on the streams. All they would have to do is make it free, and put ads at the beginning, and between periods. Just like Hulu. But no. These Olympics could be a boon to hockey in the US. NBC would stand to profit from that, since they own the NHL broadcast rights. But instead, they'd rather bury it on a cable channel most Americans can't even find (have you seen MSNBC's ratings lately? )
Well, that's my rant. We'll see where my email to Cablevision gets me (probably nowhere, but at least I'll feel better). Way to drop the ball, NBC. Maybe by the 2036 games you'll be up to speed. If you haven't gone out of business by then.
- "Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future."
2009-09-02
Saw this headline on NJ.com this morning:
Brick man is charged with impersonating councilman during dispute with neighbors
Now, I don't know about you, but how out of touch do you have to be to think that a man made of bricks is a town councilman? And what kind of idiot then charges this scarecrow with a crime? Hello?
Brick man is charged with impersonating councilman during dispute with neighbors
Now, I don't know about you, but how out of touch do you have to be to think that a man made of bricks is a town councilman? And what kind of idiot then charges this scarecrow with a crime? Hello?
2009-08-29
I have determined that the easiest way to extract information from me is to play salsa music non stop. After four hours of it, with one more to go, I would admit to killing JFK if it will make the show stop. I'm so bored by this show that I'm blogging. In the middle of it.
I'm not alone, though. Looking aroud, about 1/4 if the crowd is sleeping or nodding off. They're certainly not dancing, which is what I understand you're supposed to do. I just want to go to bed.
I'm not alone, though. Looking aroud, about 1/4 if the crowd is sleeping or nodding off. They're certainly not dancing, which is what I understand you're supposed to do. I just want to go to bed.
So. I just realized that it's been two months since I've written. Fun flies when you're having time.
This will be short, as I'm writing this on my phone, and it's a pain in the butt. I've been meaning to write, but there's just so much going on. Amanda and I have started looking to buy a house. It's very frustrating. What we want and what we can afford are in two different universes, and compromise doesn't seem like it will be easy. Between that and the barrage of festivals that always happen this time of year, there hasn't been much time.
I'm sitting in Madison Square Garden right now, waiting for this stupid radio show to start (MEGA 97.9!!!) and it occurs to me that I've spent so much time in arenas that I no longer notice the smell of stale beer and popcorn. It's got to be 50 degrees in here, and the ice isn't even down.
This will be short, as I'm writing this on my phone, and it's a pain in the butt. I've been meaning to write, but there's just so much going on. Amanda and I have started looking to buy a house. It's very frustrating. What we want and what we can afford are in two different universes, and compromise doesn't seem like it will be easy. Between that and the barrage of festivals that always happen this time of year, there hasn't been much time.
I'm sitting in Madison Square Garden right now, waiting for this stupid radio show to start (MEGA 97.9!!!) and it occurs to me that I've spent so much time in arenas that I no longer notice the smell of stale beer and popcorn. It's got to be 50 degrees in here, and the ice isn't even down.
2009-06-27
Hi gang. Here's some photos that I've taken in the past few days.
That's right: Ikea makes pizza. Yes, that Ikea. While it does come pre-assembled (surprisingly), it tastes like something from Ikea. And by that I mean it tastes like pressboard and cheap laminate. Should have just eaten the box instead. Stick to meatballs, guys.
This blurry little image here is a practical joke we played on the boss (Mike, the owner of the lighting company, not Dane. His bags don't even get here until 5.) That's his suitcase dangling from one of the lighting trusses. 45' in the air. That old gag.
Saved the best for last: none of us had ever seen this watermelon soda they had in catering today. A few of us tried it, and it wasn't bad. Kind of bland yet sweet, just like watermelon. At 50 grams of sugar (first 3 ingredients: carbonated water, sugar, corn syrup), we're all battling diabetic comas right now. For comparison, Coca-Cola has 39 grams of sugar per can. So, yeah, my pancreas is on overdrive for the rest of the day.
Here's the thing, tho: look at that picture. Have you ever seen a more racist soda can? I mean, we can't watch The Little Rascals, but we can put this soda in stores? Where's Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and Bill Cosby now? This can't be allowed to go on!
Oh, one more stray observation: we're at the Phillips Arena in Atlanta today (which may explain the soda, BTW). The Atlanta Thrashers (NHL) and Hawks (NBA) play here, and both have several banners up in the rafters. But the one that stands out?
That's right. Ted F'n Turner. The only team owner in all professional sports with a banner in his arena. Even George Steinbrenner doesn't have that. That's ego.
"Famous I don't know about. It's hard to be famous and alive. I just want to play music every day and hear someone say, 'Thanks, that was great, here's some money, same time tomorrow, okay?'"
That's right: Ikea makes pizza. Yes, that Ikea. While it does come pre-assembled (surprisingly), it tastes like something from Ikea. And by that I mean it tastes like pressboard and cheap laminate. Should have just eaten the box instead. Stick to meatballs, guys.
This blurry little image here is a practical joke we played on the boss (Mike, the owner of the lighting company, not Dane. His bags don't even get here until 5.) That's his suitcase dangling from one of the lighting trusses. 45' in the air. That old gag.
Saved the best for last: none of us had ever seen this watermelon soda they had in catering today. A few of us tried it, and it wasn't bad. Kind of bland yet sweet, just like watermelon. At 50 grams of sugar (first 3 ingredients: carbonated water, sugar, corn syrup), we're all battling diabetic comas right now. For comparison, Coca-Cola has 39 grams of sugar per can. So, yeah, my pancreas is on overdrive for the rest of the day.
Here's the thing, tho: look at that picture. Have you ever seen a more racist soda can? I mean, we can't watch The Little Rascals, but we can put this soda in stores? Where's Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and Bill Cosby now? This can't be allowed to go on!
Oh, one more stray observation: we're at the Phillips Arena in Atlanta today (which may explain the soda, BTW). The Atlanta Thrashers (NHL) and Hawks (NBA) play here, and both have several banners up in the rafters. But the one that stands out?
That's right. Ted F'n Turner. The only team owner in all professional sports with a banner in his arena. Even George Steinbrenner doesn't have that. That's ego."Famous I don't know about. It's hard to be famous and alive. I just want to play music every day and hear someone say, 'Thanks, that was great, here's some money, same time tomorrow, okay?'"
2009-06-25
Ok, so we're watching the Michael Jackson coverage on MSNBC, and I'm getting madder and madder at the media. First, I have to say that of all the talking heads on cable news, I find Keith Olbermann the least repulsive. Which is like saying that this turd is less smelly than that turd.
First asshole of the day: Al Sharpton. That's right, here comes Reverend Al, to get his 5 minutes in. Rev. Al felt the need to hold a news conference. Why? I don't know. Mostly because he's the definition of attention whore. What did he say? I knew Michael. He spoke at James Brown's funeral. Blah blah blah. The part that really chaps my ass? When Al said that Michael Jackson was THE entertainer that bridged the racial divide. He was THE first black entertainer to be accepted by white audiences. Forget about Sammy Davis, Jr. or Sidney Poitier. When does Jesse Jackson get his 5 minutes?
Now, the media in general gets the second asshole of the day award, for their ridiculous attempts to get anyone who has ever spoken to Michael Jackson on the phone. I mean, Olbermann spoke to a woman who is alleged to be a "Jackson family friend" who hasn't spoken to Michael for YEARS, and hadn't even talked to the family in a year. Why? Why is this person relevant? When are they going to call Macaulay Culkin? Or Corey Feldman? They could use some exposure? What about Bubbles the chimp? Haven't heard from him lately. What about Oprah? Or Puffy? Or Chris Brown? Or Kanye? Oh, when, oh when will they get interviewed? What do they think? What are they feeling? I NEED TO KNOW NOW OH MY GOD!
The biggest asshole of the day, however, goes to the vultures who flocked to Michael's house when the 911 call came in on the emergency radio. What's wrong with you people? Why are you taking video of the ambulance carrying him away? Give the man some privacy, and some f'n dignity! I hope you all get run over by ambulances. There's a special level of hell reserved just for leeches like you, and it's right between pedophile priests and genocidal maniacs.
What is the world coming to when Fox News is quoting TMZ?
I wonder if he'll have a sequined coffin?
Oh no! Michael Jackson's star on the Walk of Fame is covered for the red carpet for Bruno! (irony?) People are visiting the wrong star and leaving flowers for a radio talk show host! Oh, the horror!
I can't watch this anymore. I'm going to go vomit.
First asshole of the day: Al Sharpton. That's right, here comes Reverend Al, to get his 5 minutes in. Rev. Al felt the need to hold a news conference. Why? I don't know. Mostly because he's the definition of attention whore. What did he say? I knew Michael. He spoke at James Brown's funeral. Blah blah blah. The part that really chaps my ass? When Al said that Michael Jackson was THE entertainer that bridged the racial divide. He was THE first black entertainer to be accepted by white audiences. Forget about Sammy Davis, Jr. or Sidney Poitier. When does Jesse Jackson get his 5 minutes?
Now, the media in general gets the second asshole of the day award, for their ridiculous attempts to get anyone who has ever spoken to Michael Jackson on the phone. I mean, Olbermann spoke to a woman who is alleged to be a "Jackson family friend" who hasn't spoken to Michael for YEARS, and hadn't even talked to the family in a year. Why? Why is this person relevant? When are they going to call Macaulay Culkin? Or Corey Feldman? They could use some exposure? What about Bubbles the chimp? Haven't heard from him lately. What about Oprah? Or Puffy? Or Chris Brown? Or Kanye? Oh, when, oh when will they get interviewed? What do they think? What are they feeling? I NEED TO KNOW NOW OH MY GOD!
The biggest asshole of the day, however, goes to the vultures who flocked to Michael's house when the 911 call came in on the emergency radio. What's wrong with you people? Why are you taking video of the ambulance carrying him away? Give the man some privacy, and some f'n dignity! I hope you all get run over by ambulances. There's a special level of hell reserved just for leeches like you, and it's right between pedophile priests and genocidal maniacs.
What is the world coming to when Fox News is quoting TMZ?
I wonder if he'll have a sequined coffin?
Oh no! Michael Jackson's star on the Walk of Fame is covered for the red carpet for Bruno! (irony?) People are visiting the wrong star and leaving flowers for a radio talk show host! Oh, the horror!
I can't watch this anymore. I'm going to go vomit.
Poor Farah Fawcett. She fought cancer for so long, and so valiantly, and now she gets one upped by Michael Jackson. After Ed McMahon (who still owes me a check, BTW), and then Farah, now MJ. Patrick Swayze and Steve Jobs better watch their backs. It's a bad week to be a celebrity.
"There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed."
"There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed."
2009-06-13
Minneapolis today. Woo hoo. Old Man Bill and I went over to Famous Dave's BBQ's outdoor blues festival after load in. It was pretty cool. We got there as Big Daddy Cade's tribute to B.B. King went on. They were really good, but we didn't stay long because the sound guy didn't seem to notice that the Hammond organ was WAY too loud, so every time an organ solo started, we got blasted with sound.
On the way over to Famous Dave's, we walked past the biggest Target in the world (I don't know this for a fact, but it was three storeys and a city block long, so I'd say it's a good guess). We also saw a group protesting Scientology. They were wearing Guy Fawkes masks and chanting about brain washing... I don't understand why Scientology is any worse than, say, Christianity, or Judaism, or Islam, or Buddhism. But these guys were committed.
The other cool thing that we saw was this statue of Mary Tyler Moore, in the famous pose from the opening credits of her TV show. All I can say is: don't throw your hat up in the air, 'cause what might land is a Frigidaire.
Finally, I'd like to note that we've been playing alot of NBA arenas lately. We can tell because the showers are all 10' in the air. Taking a shower using one of these is kind of like getting spit on from the top of a building: there's almost no water pressure coming out. And good luck if the giant that used it before you moved the head, cuz now you have to go half way across the room to get wet. I now understand what it feels like to be a midget.
"I've just been handed a bulletin: "You have something on your front tooth!""
Ted Knight (1923 - 1986), as Ted Baxter, The Mary Tyler Moore Show
On the way over to Famous Dave's, we walked past the biggest Target in the world (I don't know this for a fact, but it was three storeys and a city block long, so I'd say it's a good guess). We also saw a group protesting Scientology. They were wearing Guy Fawkes masks and chanting about brain washing... I don't understand why Scientology is any worse than, say, Christianity, or Judaism, or Islam, or Buddhism. But these guys were committed.The other cool thing that we saw was this statue of Mary Tyler Moore, in the famous pose from the opening credits of her TV show. All I can say is: don't throw your hat up in the air, 'cause what might land is a Frigidaire.
Finally, I'd like to note that we've been playing alot of NBA arenas lately. We can tell because the showers are all 10' in the air. Taking a shower using one of these is kind of like getting spit on from the top of a building: there's almost no water pressure coming out. And good luck if the giant that used it before you moved the head, cuz now you have to go half way across the room to get wet. I now understand what it feels like to be a midget.
"I've just been handed a bulletin: "You have something on your front tooth!""
Ted Knight (1923 - 1986), as Ted Baxter, The Mary Tyler Moore Show
2009-06-11
Last night we went to the Paxton Chop House in Omaha for dinner. Mike ( the owner of the company I'm working for) reserved us a private room, since we had 14 guys. Now, Amanda has asked me to review the restaurant, which seems kind of like asking Britney Spears to review a book, but I'll do my best. While I didn't have any steak, they did walk us through the different kinds of meat and ways of preparation that they have, which was interesting. The meals are served family style, with things like appetizers and veggies served on platters that the table shares. We started with a selection of appetizers, including shrimp cocktail, crab cakes, and lobster corn dogs. Yeah, you read that right. I don't usually do shellfish, but I had to try the corn dog. It was really good. Next, we had calamari. Now, normally, calamari comes in quarter sized rings, breaded, and fried. This was different: these were huge, and cut long ways. It was fresh and buttery, and very very good. I ordered the ahi tuna steak, and it was excellent: fresh and cooked just right, although it did have steak gristle on it from being on the same grill. That turned me off a little, though I did enjoy it anyway. The other guys all got huge steaks. Neil, on of our truck drivers, wound up with a steak that was allegedly medium rare, though it was still red on the outside. He ate it anyway, and said it was good... though I still think I heard it moo when he first cut into it. We left 5 hours later, satisfied, gorged, and more than a little drunk. It's been a bit of a slow day today, but everyone seems to have recovered, mostly.
"Health food makes me sick."
"Health food makes me sick."
2009-06-08
I've been on a bus all day, driving from Edmonton to North Dakota, so excuse me if you've heard this already, but Brett Michaels apparently walked into a piece of scenery at the Tony Awards last night. Now, while this in and of itself is hilarious, and couldn't have happened to a nicer guy, I do have one question: what the hell was Brett Michaels doing at the Tony Awards? Isn't that an award show for Broadway? Isn't there a minimum talent requirement for such an event?
Apparently, there's a musical out there called "Rock of Ages" which involves hair metal in some way. Poison seems to have a song or two in the show, even. Just when you thought Broadway couldn't get any worse, we have this. I don't know if that crapfest won anything, but it's about the saddest thing I've heard of in a while. At least, since I heard about the remake of Clash of the Titans. Yeah, you read that right.
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
Apparently, there's a musical out there called "Rock of Ages" which involves hair metal in some way. Poison seems to have a song or two in the show, even. Just when you thought Broadway couldn't get any worse, we have this. I don't know if that crapfest won anything, but it's about the saddest thing I've heard of in a while. At least, since I heard about the remake of Clash of the Titans. Yeah, you read that right.
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
2009-06-04
Personally, I prefer the imported water. Which room does that pump from?
I know gay marriage is legal in Canada, but I didn't realize that they allowed this. I'm just wondering, though: does one milk a homo by hand or machine?
We wandered over to the Hockey Hall of Fame when we were in Toronto last month. They have a cool display of international hockey jerseys. This one happens to be from the French hockey team. You can tell, because the logo is a chicken.
Ok, couple things: Sarah Palin needs to go away. Really. She's now suggesting that the Obama government wants to bail out struggling states to control the people. Since when does the federal government need an excuse like budget bailouts to control people? They have GUNS, you hooplehead!
Also: conservative talking heads are babbling about a newspaper bailout. Apparently, Senator Ben Cardin, D-MD, has introduced a bill allowing newspapers to restructure as non profits. This allows them tax breaks and deductions that can potentially help save small, local papers. The catch: while papers can report on any subject, they cannot make endorsements (an objective media? The horror!) So the argument being made is that the Obama administration wants to bailout these struggling newspapers so that they can strangle the flow of information and force their perspective on the public. Here's the thing: the bill also allows for this little tidbit:
Advertising and subscription revenue would be tax exempt, and contributions to support news coverage or operations could be tax deductible.
So, just like in our current system, if you want to influence a newspaper, you can buy some ads. Or, in a new twist, make a big "contribution" towards "operations" and it's all tax deductible. We report, you decide!
For those of you who clicked on the first link and enjoyed what you saw, there is great news! The State, MTV's groundbreaking sketch comedy from the 90's, is now finally coming out on DVD! In stores July 14, or you can pre-order your copy today!
"Words calculated to catch everyone may catch no one."
In a sad bit of news, David Carradine was found dead today. I'm sure you heard. What you may not have heard is that Uma Thurman is nowhere to be found.
Ok, that was a lame joke. I am saddened by Carradine's passing. Kill bill was an awesome movie, and Kung Fu was a great show. He did some really great work and it's sad that he went the way he did.
Ok, that was a lame joke. I am saddened by Carradine's passing. Kill bill was an awesome movie, and Kung Fu was a great show. He did some really great work and it's sad that he went the way he did.
"Avoid, rather than check. Check, rather than hurt. Hurt, rather than maim. Maim, rather than kill. For all life is precious, nor can any be replaced."
Philip Ahn as Master Kan, Kung Fu
Philip Ahn as Master Kan, Kung Fu
2009-06-02
Well, here we are in lovely Vancouver. I haven't walked around much, but I was woken up this morning at 8 am by the hammering of workers remodeling the hotel. Yeah. Three lovely nights in a hotel that's under construction. I'm going to go and wander the city now, and see how much Monopoly money I wind up with.
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