So this link is to a copy of Iggy Pop and the Stooges' tech rider. For those of you who don't know, a tech rider is a list of gear and other things that a band needs to perform. These lists are usually typed up by a management type person, and then sent ahead several weeks before the show so that the promoter has time to procure the required items. Often, bands will add ridiculous things just to see if they can get them. But this particular item takes many, many cakes. It's just too funny. But I'll let the document speak for itself. And for more fun, click here.
Some of you may remember me talking about a really weird Skittles ad I saw this summer. Here it is, in all it's disturbing glory:
For those of you who still don't quite understand what I do, try this. Click on "Create a Rock Show" in the upper left hand corner and have fun!
And there you have it. Until next time, adios, chihuahuas!
"Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast."
Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
2006-10-30
2006-10-28
Ahh, Atlantic City. Home of Bare Feet Hoes and the splendiforous Trump Taj Mahal, where today we find our hero waiting patiently for the WKTU Halloween Hip Hop to commence. Halloween Hip Hop, which is really a misnomer, since there is no actual hip and or hop with acts like C + C Music Factory and TKA Featuring K7 (which sounds more like an additive used in making Twinkies than a musical group, but whatever). Yeah.
So I promised an explanation for my little attempt at a scientific experiment earlier this month, and I will give it. Due to the overwhelming response, we can now safely say that 40% of the population believes 9/11 was in fact an attack on America by Islamic extremists, 40% of the population believes 9/11 was a hoax perpetrated by the Bush administration to justify the war in Iraq, and 20% of you faithful readers think there isn't enough evidence to decide. Well, it's no Gallup Poll, but I think we have some definitive evidence here.
Personally, I'm in the "Not Enough Evidence to Decide" category. I have a hard time believing that my government, if not my chosen representatives, but my government nonetheless, could have anything to do with such a heinous and evil action. Now, I'm not saying we don't do things like this on a regular basis (Panama, Greneda, Venezuela, Chile, Iran, Iraq, etc. etc. etc.), but we don't do it against our own people. We just don't. I mean, for starters, think of how huge this conspiracy would have to be if our government was involved: the White House, the Air Force, the airlines, some even think the Navy and other military would have to be involved. And, I'm sorry, but there are WAY too many sailors on a US Navy vessel carrying Tomahawk missiles or on a US Air Force base for a Tomahawk to slam into the Pentagon without SOMEBODY in the military a. knowing about it, and b. coming forward and saying so. That is the worst argument I've ever heard and I hope the people spouting that crap get a Tomahawk missile in a very uncomfortable place (like the back of a Volkswagen).
So my theory goes something like this: we will never know for sure how complicit the government was in 9/11. Much like Pearl Harbor, I think that future generations will judge the act as horrible and cowardly, and look at the evidence that President Bush and members of his National Security staff knew something was coming and did little about it (there were warnings in the press about a terrorist attack in late August, but nobody took it seriously) and say that Bush let it happen to further his agenda in Iraq. Like we now speculate (because, again, we'll never know) that FDR let Pearl Harbor happen so that the US could justify entry into WWII, future historians will make the same speculations about 9/11. My personal opinion is that those conclusions are not far from the truth.
And much like the Nazi party did with the Reichstag in the 1930's, his administration and the Republican party have used the attacks to justify drastic and dramatic changes in our laws, our civil liberties, and our overall way of life. Future generations will hopefully look back on this and judge accordingly. Whether or not the changes are for the better is up to us to decide. Fortunately, we have the opportunity to fix these problems, and change our government.
One way or another, George W. Bush let 9/11 happen by not going after Al Qaida. This much is established fact. What I can't understand is why we let him continue to screw up. It seems like the worse he screws up, the more we reward him. But we don't care, because our tax cuts are in the mail, and our grandkids get to pay for it.
So I hope you all feel more enlightened. I'm hoping to have something funny for my next post. Stay tuna'd.
Almost frogot. [sic] BIIIIIG news! I'm doing two shows as LD for Guster next month! For those of you who don't know, Guster is a band I've been listening to for several years now, I really enjoy their music and they always put on great shows. I just hope I'm up to the task! Well, I have to get back to the Hippin' and the Hoppin' and the Bippin' and the Boppin' now, so until next time!
"Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth."
So I promised an explanation for my little attempt at a scientific experiment earlier this month, and I will give it. Due to the overwhelming response, we can now safely say that 40% of the population believes 9/11 was in fact an attack on America by Islamic extremists, 40% of the population believes 9/11 was a hoax perpetrated by the Bush administration to justify the war in Iraq, and 20% of you faithful readers think there isn't enough evidence to decide. Well, it's no Gallup Poll, but I think we have some definitive evidence here.
Personally, I'm in the "Not Enough Evidence to Decide" category. I have a hard time believing that my government, if not my chosen representatives, but my government nonetheless, could have anything to do with such a heinous and evil action. Now, I'm not saying we don't do things like this on a regular basis (Panama, Greneda, Venezuela, Chile, Iran, Iraq, etc. etc. etc.), but we don't do it against our own people. We just don't. I mean, for starters, think of how huge this conspiracy would have to be if our government was involved: the White House, the Air Force, the airlines, some even think the Navy and other military would have to be involved. And, I'm sorry, but there are WAY too many sailors on a US Navy vessel carrying Tomahawk missiles or on a US Air Force base for a Tomahawk to slam into the Pentagon without SOMEBODY in the military a. knowing about it, and b. coming forward and saying so. That is the worst argument I've ever heard and I hope the people spouting that crap get a Tomahawk missile in a very uncomfortable place (like the back of a Volkswagen).
So my theory goes something like this: we will never know for sure how complicit the government was in 9/11. Much like Pearl Harbor, I think that future generations will judge the act as horrible and cowardly, and look at the evidence that President Bush and members of his National Security staff knew something was coming and did little about it (there were warnings in the press about a terrorist attack in late August, but nobody took it seriously) and say that Bush let it happen to further his agenda in Iraq. Like we now speculate (because, again, we'll never know) that FDR let Pearl Harbor happen so that the US could justify entry into WWII, future historians will make the same speculations about 9/11. My personal opinion is that those conclusions are not far from the truth.
And much like the Nazi party did with the Reichstag in the 1930's, his administration and the Republican party have used the attacks to justify drastic and dramatic changes in our laws, our civil liberties, and our overall way of life. Future generations will hopefully look back on this and judge accordingly. Whether or not the changes are for the better is up to us to decide. Fortunately, we have the opportunity to fix these problems, and change our government.
One way or another, George W. Bush let 9/11 happen by not going after Al Qaida. This much is established fact. What I can't understand is why we let him continue to screw up. It seems like the worse he screws up, the more we reward him. But we don't care, because our tax cuts are in the mail, and our grandkids get to pay for it.
So I hope you all feel more enlightened. I'm hoping to have something funny for my next post. Stay tuna'd.
Almost frogot. [sic] BIIIIIG news! I'm doing two shows as LD for Guster next month! For those of you who don't know, Guster is a band I've been listening to for several years now, I really enjoy their music and they always put on great shows. I just hope I'm up to the task! Well, I have to get back to the Hippin' and the Hoppin' and the Bippin' and the Boppin' now, so until next time!
"Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth."
2006-10-20
Well, here I am, back in Washington DC. Long time readers will remember my previously stated views of our nation's captial, but since they only exist in my head, you new readers that can't possibly be imaginary can read all about it here.
Today's adventure brings us to the Verizon Center, formerly the MCI Centrer, and not the Cap Centre. We won't even get into USAir Arena. It's day two of the Don Omar tour, even tho it's been a week since day one. Yeah, it's that kind of tour. Nothing especially wonderful to report, unfortunately. I took the Amtrak to DC this time, which was new. I've never done that before... it's different. I think I like it better than flying. If you factor in the time you spend waiting at the airport, it takes about as long. The only difference is that I don't have to wear a seat belt, I can use my computer or cell phone the whole trip, and I never have to put my seat back and tray table in the upright and locked position. I like that.
So, yeah, life's been pretty boring, even tho I haven't done much more than work non stop for the last 3 weeks. Maybe that's why. Who knows. Yeah, so here's your quote:
"If I was more complacent and I let things slide, my life would be easier, but you all wouldn't be as entertained. My misery is your pleasure."
Today's adventure brings us to the Verizon Center, formerly the MCI Centrer, and not the Cap Centre. We won't even get into USAir Arena. It's day two of the Don Omar tour, even tho it's been a week since day one. Yeah, it's that kind of tour. Nothing especially wonderful to report, unfortunately. I took the Amtrak to DC this time, which was new. I've never done that before... it's different. I think I like it better than flying. If you factor in the time you spend waiting at the airport, it takes about as long. The only difference is that I don't have to wear a seat belt, I can use my computer or cell phone the whole trip, and I never have to put my seat back and tray table in the upright and locked position. I like that.
So, yeah, life's been pretty boring, even tho I haven't done much more than work non stop for the last 3 weeks. Maybe that's why. Who knows. Yeah, so here's your quote:
"If I was more complacent and I let things slide, my life would be easier, but you all wouldn't be as entertained. My misery is your pleasure."
2006-10-12
Sorry there hasn't been a new post in a while. I've been busy, back and forth to CT and upstate NY, not much time for sitting down and screwing around on the internet. Right now, I'm in Mohegan Sun Arena doing rehearsals for Don Omar. Yeah, I've never heard of him either, but apparently he's very big on the riggatoni scene, or something like that. All I know is, the music sounds very angry, and it's all in Spanish. And there you go.
So I promised a blurb about the Ian Anderson gig from hell, and here it is:
Last week, I went to this town calledTorrington , CT
So now let me tell you some more about my new favorite state in the Union, Connecticut. Apparently, up here, it'’s illegal to serve someone 2 drinks at the same time. So, say you wanted a shot of whiskey with your beer. Nope. Not happening. You can'’t even buy a shot. You can buy the liquor straight up, but you can't buy an actual "“shot." I guess boilermakers aren'’t real popular here. Plus, you have to finish your beer before they can serve you the whiskey. What an absolutely stupid law. And the only place it'’s enforced? Yupers: Mohegan Sun casino. Which wouldn'’t be a problem, except for the fact that everything else in this wonderful Valhalla of a state closes at 10:30!!!!Sons of motherless goats! And I can'’t even get the damn internet here: there'’s no wireless at our lovely two star hotel, and the wireless in the arena is turned off. They keep telling us it's on, but somehow nobody can get the signal. Funny thing that. And I think the trough they'’re feeding us out of is making me ill: I haven't had an appetite for 2 days now. This place sucks. I'’m going home now.
Here'’s a pic of the emergency release handle from the trunk of our rental car. I just think it's really funny that the little guy is jumping out of the trunk. I have to wonder what people like Tony Soprano would think of these. Do they remove them from the car? That would be a good gag for a gangster movie
"I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere."
Unknown
So I promised a blurb about the Ian Anderson gig from hell, and here it is:
Last week, I went to this town called
So now let me tell you some more about my new favorite state in the Union, Connecticut. Apparently, up here, it'’s illegal to serve someone 2 drinks at the same time. So, say you wanted a shot of whiskey with your beer. Nope. Not happening. You can'’t even buy a shot. You can buy the liquor straight up, but you can't buy an actual "“shot." I guess boilermakers aren'’t real popular here. Plus, you have to finish your beer before they can serve you the whiskey. What an absolutely stupid law. And the only place it'’s enforced? Yupers: Mohegan Sun casino. Which wouldn'’t be a problem, except for the fact that everything else in this wonderful Valhalla of a state closes at 10:30!!!!Sons of motherless goats! And I can'’t even get the damn internet here: there'’s no wireless at our lovely two star hotel, and the wireless in the arena is turned off. They keep telling us it's on, but somehow nobody can get the signal. Funny thing that. And I think the trough they'’re feeding us out of is making me ill: I haven't had an appetite for 2 days now. This place sucks. I'’m going home now.
Here'’s a pic of the emergency release handle from the trunk of our rental car. I just think it's really funny that the little guy is jumping out of the trunk. I have to wonder what people like Tony Soprano would think of these. Do they remove them from the car? That would be a good gag for a gangster movie
"I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere."
Unknown
2006-10-04
Stupidest headline of the week:
So here's one for the brilliant editors over there at the SMH: Unemployment checks one-third regular pay. Allright!
"If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur."
Doug Larson
One-third infant deaths premature
Brought to you by the Sydney Morning Herald. What I want to know is this: if 1/3 of infant deaths are premature, what are the other 2/3 ??? Did they live a full and complete life in those few months? Hello. Now, I know what this headline was supposed to say, but it doesn't. It says that 1 out of every 3 infants that die exit before thier time. What I want to know is, what do the other two do so that we as a society believe that their life was well spent?So here's one for the brilliant editors over there at the SMH: Unemployment checks one-third regular pay. Allright!
"If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur."
Doug Larson
2006-10-02
Well, kids, here it is, the one you've been waiting for: the MySpace Rant, or 3 Reasons Why MySpace is Evil.
1. The obvious: MySpace.com is owned by NewsCorp. And NewsCorp is owned by one of the most evil men alive, Rupert Murdoch. Yes, that's opinion, but it's a widely held one. And if you don't have an opinion, then click on his name up there and read "Recent activities" and "Murdoch and Politics," then tell me he isn't evil. Or you could just ask his 3 wives. In July 2005, MySpace.com, its servers, it's employees, and all of it's 90 million plus (at the time) readers was quietly purchased by NewsCorp. Why? Could it be that having 106 million (current) young people telling you exactly what they want is the best market research around? Or maybe the fact that the site generates more advertising revenue than Yahoo!? After all, that many captive viewers only comes around once a year (hint: think football game). So why is this evil, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you: MySpace was designed to be a place where bands could get their music out to the public for free. That's it. It's not a corporate tool. It's not supposed to be another link in the chains that corporations use to bind us and control us. How, you ask? How many MySpace friends have you met in real life? And how many of them do you think are being paid to pass on a band or movie? Think I'm paranoid? Think it's bullshit? Well, I've got 4 words for you: Snakes. On. A. Plane.
2. The Experts: PC World magazine rated MySpace as #1 in the 25 worst websites. Why? Well, you can read the full article here. But to summarize: MySpace is poorly designed. Users can upload pictures, audio, video, and all kinds of other kak onto their pages. The metaphor that PC World used was that most pages are more cluttered than a "teenager's bedroom after a tornado." And it's true. Have you ever seen some of these pages? The wallpaper is mind warping, then there's the Flash movies of photos that go on forever and ever, usually with some kind of lame ass music in the background. And god help you if there' s a video that auto loads: even the fastest of computers with the fastest of connections can be slowed to a mere crawl by just one of these pages. And that doesn't even touch on the REAL menace of some MySpace pages: spyware, spamware, and, the one your Congressman has been harping on all year, predators. Some pages have spyware and spamware embedded into them so that simply loading that link your new friend sent can put all kinds of fun porn on your computer. Yeah! And how do you really know who that new friend is? I mean, he can look at your site and know all about you before he even asks to be your friend. Isn't it weird that you both like the same kinds of music and movies, and his favorite movie is Princess Mononoke too! Oh wow!
3. The War on Drugs: How many of you out there communicate with your friends through MySpace more than through real space? When was the last time you actually went out and had dinner with most of your MySpace friends? And just what the hell does "OMFG ur soooooooooooooo cute LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!" mean, anyway? Since when is that a form of communication? What exactly does this bode for the future? I mean, if you spend more time online updating your page and looking at your friend's pages, when do you have time to actually talk to your friends? When do you go to the bar and just hang out? I'm just waiting for the story about the guy/girl who is suing their boss because they were fired for being on MySpace. It's only a matter of time. And the only people who are worse than MySpacers are Blackberry users. So that's where you are: if you use MySpace, you're only one step above that annoying prick who sits on the train or in the subway, in the waiting room or, god help him, in TRAFFIC tapping away on that horrible little Crackberry, like he's so important he just can't be away from the office for 10 seconds without writing an email. So there you have it: MySpace.com is just as destructive to the lives of it's users as drugs like heroine or cocaine. It's all they think about, it's their entire life. And if you don't use it, they don't really care to know you, because you're not a part of their world.
Special bonus 4th reason why MySpace is evil: All those people that you've known throughout your life that you thought you never had to see again? Yeah, well, they've found your MySpace profile, and they still want to be your friend! Goody!
So, on a completely unrelated topic, I'm going to use this little piece of the internet for scientific research. Ok, well, maybe not that lofty, but amusing still. I'm going to try out a poll here, and if all 3 of you reading this fill it out, we might know a little more than we did 10 minutes ago. So here it is: 9/11 poll: was 9/11 a government conspiracy? Or are the people saying that just a bunch of crackpots? Well, here's your chance to speak up. And it's for science!
Ok well, that's all for now kids. Tune in soon for my next rant: the really bad gig, starring Ian Anderson from Jethro Tull! And: stupid headlines. All on our next episode!
"My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular."
1. The obvious: MySpace.com is owned by NewsCorp. And NewsCorp is owned by one of the most evil men alive, Rupert Murdoch. Yes, that's opinion, but it's a widely held one. And if you don't have an opinion, then click on his name up there and read "Recent activities" and "Murdoch and Politics," then tell me he isn't evil. Or you could just ask his 3 wives. In July 2005, MySpace.com, its servers, it's employees, and all of it's 90 million plus (at the time) readers was quietly purchased by NewsCorp. Why? Could it be that having 106 million (current) young people telling you exactly what they want is the best market research around? Or maybe the fact that the site generates more advertising revenue than Yahoo!? After all, that many captive viewers only comes around once a year (hint: think football game). So why is this evil, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you: MySpace was designed to be a place where bands could get their music out to the public for free. That's it. It's not a corporate tool. It's not supposed to be another link in the chains that corporations use to bind us and control us. How, you ask? How many MySpace friends have you met in real life? And how many of them do you think are being paid to pass on a band or movie? Think I'm paranoid? Think it's bullshit? Well, I've got 4 words for you: Snakes. On. A. Plane.
2. The Experts: PC World magazine rated MySpace as #1 in the 25 worst websites. Why? Well, you can read the full article here. But to summarize: MySpace is poorly designed. Users can upload pictures, audio, video, and all kinds of other kak onto their pages. The metaphor that PC World used was that most pages are more cluttered than a "teenager's bedroom after a tornado." And it's true. Have you ever seen some of these pages? The wallpaper is mind warping, then there's the Flash movies of photos that go on forever and ever, usually with some kind of lame ass music in the background. And god help you if there' s a video that auto loads: even the fastest of computers with the fastest of connections can be slowed to a mere crawl by just one of these pages. And that doesn't even touch on the REAL menace of some MySpace pages: spyware, spamware, and, the one your Congressman has been harping on all year, predators. Some pages have spyware and spamware embedded into them so that simply loading that link your new friend sent can put all kinds of fun porn on your computer. Yeah! And how do you really know who that new friend is? I mean, he can look at your site and know all about you before he even asks to be your friend. Isn't it weird that you both like the same kinds of music and movies, and his favorite movie is Princess Mononoke too! Oh wow!
3. The War on Drugs: How many of you out there communicate with your friends through MySpace more than through real space? When was the last time you actually went out and had dinner with most of your MySpace friends? And just what the hell does "OMFG ur soooooooooooooo cute LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!" mean, anyway? Since when is that a form of communication? What exactly does this bode for the future? I mean, if you spend more time online updating your page and looking at your friend's pages, when do you have time to actually talk to your friends? When do you go to the bar and just hang out? I'm just waiting for the story about the guy/girl who is suing their boss because they were fired for being on MySpace. It's only a matter of time. And the only people who are worse than MySpacers are Blackberry users. So that's where you are: if you use MySpace, you're only one step above that annoying prick who sits on the train or in the subway, in the waiting room or, god help him, in TRAFFIC tapping away on that horrible little Crackberry, like he's so important he just can't be away from the office for 10 seconds without writing an email. So there you have it: MySpace.com is just as destructive to the lives of it's users as drugs like heroine or cocaine. It's all they think about, it's their entire life. And if you don't use it, they don't really care to know you, because you're not a part of their world.
Special bonus 4th reason why MySpace is evil: All those people that you've known throughout your life that you thought you never had to see again? Yeah, well, they've found your MySpace profile, and they still want to be your friend! Goody!
So, on a completely unrelated topic, I'm going to use this little piece of the internet for scientific research. Ok, well, maybe not that lofty, but amusing still. I'm going to try out a poll here, and if all 3 of you reading this fill it out, we might know a little more than we did 10 minutes ago. So here it is: 9/11 poll: was 9/11 a government conspiracy? Or are the people saying that just a bunch of crackpots? Well, here's your chance to speak up. And it's for science!
Ok well, that's all for now kids. Tune in soon for my next rant: the really bad gig, starring Ian Anderson from Jethro Tull! And: stupid headlines. All on our next episode!
"My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)