Hey, lookie! Pastis reads my blog!

On a more serious note, I need to talk to you people about a scourge on our nation. Yesterday, I went to Costco. Now, going to Costco on a weekend is a dangerous proposition to begin with. But yesterday, I saw things that nobody should be subject to. People, please, get this through your head: pulling your fat ass off the couch to walk around Costco DOES NOT count as exercise. OK? Especially when you stop at every free sample stand and then get 3 hot dogs, a pizza, and a cheese steak at the little cafe in front of the store. And the diet soda? Yeah, not really helping there. I'd like to send a little proposal to our new Congress and President: if you're so serious about reforming health care in this country, then you need to pass a new law. The law should say that if you weigh more than 250 lbs, you cannot be a member of Costco, Sam's Club, or BJ's. Unless you're over 7' tall. Then you have to be over 300 lbs. I think you'd cut the rate of heart disease in this country by about half.
And what's with you people who are totally oblivious to the fact htat there are other shopping carts in the store? This one jerk, had his cart parked perpendicular to the aisle, blocking the rest of it with his huge ass. There were, like, 15 people waiting for him to finish reading the FDA label on a 5 gallon jug of Cheez Whiz (here's a hint: you don't need it.) I bet this moron drives his car like that, and that's why you can't get into the damn parking lot.

Next time: Viagra commercials: are they effective, or just really, really creepy? And does the King approve of them using his song?

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

George Carlin (1937 - 2008)