UPDATE! Breaking News! NASA has halted the urine processor test on the International Space Station. Flight Engineer Koichi Wakata has reportedly been holding it for 18 hours now, but does not know how much longer he can. When asked for comment, station commander Mike Finkle said "Well, we don't really know what went wrong, but we're hoping that (shuttle Discovery pilot) Tony Antonelli can find us a gas station or 7-11. I mean, Koichi's been a real trooper, but he's starting to look a little yellow. I guess he shouldn't have had so much water yesterday." NASA officials on the ground had no official comment on when the problem will be fixed, other than "Depends."

In other news, Bruce Willis wed his 30 year old girlfriend last weekend. After the ceremony, Ashton Kutcher jumped out of the wedding cake and yelled "PUNK'D" in the bride's face, before running off. Nobody laughed.

On to business: economists are still puzzled by the sudden spike in Pfizer stock. Analysts say that the company, known for making the anti-depressants Zoloft and Xanax, theorize that it may be a reaction to the economic downturn.

"Many people despise wealth, but few know how to give it away."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)