Ok, so we're watching the Michael Jackson coverage on MSNBC, and I'm getting madder and madder at the media. First, I have to say that of all the talking heads on cable news, I find Keith Olbermann the least repulsive. Which is like saying that this turd is less smelly than that turd.

First asshole of the day: Al Sharpton. That's right, here comes Reverend Al, to get his 5 minutes in. Rev. Al felt the need to hold a news conference. Why? I don't know. Mostly because he's the definition of attention whore. What did he say? I knew Michael. He spoke at James Brown's funeral. Blah blah blah. The part that really chaps my ass? When Al said that Michael Jackson was THE entertainer that bridged the racial divide. He was THE first black entertainer to be accepted by white audiences. Forget about Sammy Davis, Jr. or Sidney Poitier. When does Jesse Jackson get his 5 minutes?

Now, the media in general gets the second asshole of the day award, for their ridiculous attempts to get anyone who has ever spoken to Michael Jackson on the phone. I mean, Olbermann spoke to a woman who is alleged to be a "Jackson family friend" who hasn't spoken to Michael for YEARS, and hadn't even talked to the family in a year. Why? Why is this person relevant? When are they going to call Macaulay Culkin? Or Corey Feldman? They could use some exposure? What about Bubbles the chimp? Haven't heard from him lately. What about Oprah? Or Puffy? Or Chris Brown? Or Kanye? Oh, when, oh when will they get interviewed? What do they think? What are they feeling? I NEED TO KNOW NOW OH MY GOD!

The biggest asshole of the day, however, goes to the vultures who flocked to Michael's house when the 911 call came in on the emergency radio. What's wrong with you people? Why are you taking video of the ambulance carrying him away? Give the man some privacy, and some f'n dignity! I hope you all get run over by ambulances. There's a special level of hell reserved just for leeches like you, and it's right between pedophile priests and genocidal maniacs.

What is the world coming to when Fox News is quoting TMZ?

I wonder if he'll have a sequined coffin?

Oh no! Michael Jackson's star on the Walk of Fame is covered for the red carpet for Bruno! (irony?) People are visiting the wrong star and leaving flowers for a radio talk show host! Oh, the horror!

I can't watch this anymore. I'm going to go vomit.