Dallas TX. I have returned to the scariest place on Earth. Or at least North America. Last night, I played it smart and didn't leave the hotel. Today has been ok. Except for loading into the smallest club in the US (ok, not really, but the stage is REALLY small.) The only good part about this place being so small is that we brought in almost no gear, which means quick load in and quick load out. Unfortuneately, it also means that we use the house gear, which is low grade at best. Ah well... as long as it works, right?

I overheard one of the locals make a comment today which gives me hope. He said that Bill Parcells coaching the Cowboys makes about as much sense as George Bush running this country. I almost thought I was hearing things; I mean, I thougt Texas was Bush country through and through. I guess it just goes to show that not all stereotypes are true...

Let's see, what else? Chicago was weird... very interesting space, again small and really old. The band was joined on stage by the Swiss Miss' rather large cousin... she did pretty well, too.

Milwaukee was not as cold as I expected, tho the crew was... well, they were a Steely Dan crew. Swiss Miss' cousin followed us there, too. It was kinda scary. Tyler and I wandered around this mall that was around the corner from the venue and bought some crap. There was a Sam Goody going out of business, so we (I) bought some old posters of bands like TLC and Enrique Iglasias. We (I) gaff taped them to Lucas' bunk, after adding a few autographs and other fun notes... it was kinda funny, if I do say so myself. The only thing is, I don't know what Lucas is going to do to me (us) in return, but I know it will only escalate an already tense situation in the middle bus.

Milwaukee was also Tyler's birthday... all he did was complain about how old he is, yet he's the youngest person on the tour. Bitch. So we were eating dinner, the only two people in catering except for the three women running the place, when one of the women says something about having to put the name on the cake and what was it again? Seeing as that gave away the surprise, we had to wait around until everyone else finished with sound check and came up before singing happy birthday.

On to Minneapolis, where I'm convinced there are no pretty people. Every one was just busted up lookin'. Tyler and I wandered over to Target, looking for some much needed supplies (deodorant) and on a mission from Iain, the tour manager: we were to find a blow up lawn ornament for the stage. Since it was the biggest stage we have seen on this tour (and probably will see), we wanted something like an inflatable lawn santa or snowman, or preferably leprechaun, to put on the stage and operate from the console. It would have been spectacular, except that Target sucks and didn't have anything. Ah well, it'll just have to wait for the next tour. Big props to the Minneapolis crew, who kicked butt in every way... real smooth load in and out, and we almost missed the 10" of snow that fell there yesterday. But we drove through the snow, and past the tornadoes in Kansas, finally arriving in Dallas about 6 pm local time last night.