So, today I learned a valuable lesson: your tiny screw up today can make someone else's life hell in ten years. Now, I had a nice little entry prepared for all about how much fun I had in Phoenix: about how great the company we rented the gear from was; how fantastic it was working for a client who actually took the time to make sure we ATE; how I got to play golf on Sunday, even tho it was only 9 holes and I played terribly; about how I ran into Charlie Moore (who apparently got my father so drunk on the night I was born... well, we won't go into that); about how I hung out with Rob Grasso (who apparently went to Clifton High with my Uncle DJ, and I quote "Oh, yeah, I went to high school with DJ. Wow, how old does that make ME?"); and about how awesome the Great Lawn that I lit looked (the hotel people were asking if we could just leave the lights there. I told them that wasn't my decision, but I'd be happy to come back and do it again.) But nooooooooooooo. No, tonight, I'm going to tell you all about how some toolbag 10 years ago ruined my day today by not following procedure.

You see, today started my run at the Grammercy Theatre in NYC. Last October, Live Nation bought the Grammercy and began turning it into a concert venue. When BML was hired to install the lighting rig, they tapped me to run it. Very cool. A great opportunity. But we can't pay you your full rate. But it's a great opportunity. And if I wasn't excited about it, I guess I would be more p. o.'d. But I digress. SO, when I got to the Grammercy today and turned on the dimmer rack, it started acting weird. None of the lights would come on. And one of the little warning LED's was on. The one that said "Over Voltage." I knew this was bad. Especially since this was the second dimmer rack sent in because the first was having the same problem. SO I pulled out my trusty meter to check the power: 109v on phase A (too low); 132 v on phase B (too high); 138v on phase C (Ludicrous speed, GO!). And 25v on the ground/neutral (really, really, REALLY bad. Like letting the magic smoke out bad.) Well, what to do? Go to the disconnect, start at the start, right? So, meter the disconnect: 123v on line A (good); 123v on line B (really good), 120v on line C (disco). And 0v on the ground/ neutral. Hmm... what could possibly cause THAT? (for those of you without electronics training, your normal, everyday, household power should be 120v, 60 Hz. This means that, 60 times, every second, there are 120v of electrical pressure on the line, creating the potential for work (measured in watts) to be done. Any variation of more than 10 v in this line can cause your electrical appliance to A. not work (too low) or B. burn (too high). So in this case, 138v is bad. Not as bad as say, 480v, but bad nonetheless. So, everyone got that? Good.) So, you're probably asking yourself, but Mikey, what does this have to do with the jerk 10 years ago? (actually, you're probably asking yourself, Self, why have you read this far into this crap? Don't you have something better to do, like emptying the litter box or putting bamboo shoots in your toenails? Well, I'll tell you: no, you obviously don't.) You see, the reason for my way off the mark readings is because some tool bag installed an electrical box with two neutrals, BUT ONLY CONNECTED ONE. And then he left the wire for the disconnected one HANGING LOOSE with NO INSULATION at all! So when I came along and said "Hey, this looks like my place to tie in to power! I'll just plug in here" and plugged in the neutral to the disconnected plug, it caused the power to run to the panel box that the bare wire was touching, creating a ground fault and potentially deadly situation. So, toolbag from Production Arts who installed this stupid panel: thank you, for wasting 4 hours of my life. And thank you, for ALMOST KILLING ME. I really appreciate it, and hope that the 15 seconds you saved by taking a shortcut were well spent, and not spent on crap like this.

Ok, I'm done now. You really should check out that last link tho. It's true, I'm convinced. Don't say I didn't warn you... sorry about the rant. Next time I'll have one on that dried up old c-word Ann Coulter, and her homo-hatin' ways, but I'm just tapped out right now.

"Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people."

Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)