2006-12-24
On the twelfth w00t! of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 12 bajillion radar detectors, 11 MP3 players, 10 digital cameras, 9 iPod accessories, 8 home projectors, 7 GPS systems, 60 different watches, 5 bags of crap! 4 cordless phones, 3 robot vacuums, a twofer Tuesday speaker, and a brand new Playstation 3.
That is all. Merry X-Mas, as in Malcolm X-Mas, you cracker fools!
"The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it."
C. P. Snow (1905 - 1980)
2006-12-23
Just about the only good thing about the whole day was the view from this ballroom. It was all windows, and sitting on the Hudson River, so you could see from the
So after all this party malarkey, we get told that our cases, which were stored on the 3rd floor, will not be brought up to the 9th floor so we can pack our stuff up. No. Instead, everything must ride on the few cases we have in the room, down to 3, get packed there, and then taken to the dock, on 1. Great. And, on top of that, we had the C-list crew, as well as whomever from the wait staff wanted to stick around to help. Real rocket surgeons, let me tell you. So we get the trucks on the loading dock, and find out that for 2 trucks, they've sent 6 straps. Plus, where we had 1 24' truck and 1 26' truck on the load in, and they were both packed full, we now have 2 24' trucks. And a whole bunch of video gear that isn't ours and didn't come on our truck, but we have to take back to our shop. Merry F'n Christmas! When I got home at 4 am, I took a shower and sat on the couch with a beer for a minute, just to let my brain decompile. I turn on the TV, and there, on PBS, is this documentary about the making of the Mars rover. And I thought to myself, "Oh, right, THAT's rocket science!" And proceeded to pass out.
And so, that was my day. Monday is Christmas, whoopie. That's, whoopie, not waHoopie. Never mind. Have a Merry, you faithful reader you.
"Only the mediocre are always at their best."
Jean Giraudoux (1882 - 1944)
2006-12-16
December 16, 2006. C-1. That's right. It's time for Brancato Christmas. All the kids are excited, bouncing off of walls and cars and other objects. Look out! Here comes Insanity Claus, with all his lists and toys and joys and CRACK! YAAAAAAA!
Slow week this week, kinda nice, really. Worked at Hammerstein Ballroom Monday. It was a charity fundraiser for an organization called Witness. It's run by Peter Gabriel, you know, like Sledgehammer Peter Gabriel. It's a human rights organization. Paul Simon played 3 songs, then some weird African chick tried to bring the whole crowd on stage, and the B-52's topped off the night (well, Fred and Kate, anyway. Don't know where the rest of the band were.) It was a good day, pretty slow and not much to worry about, since we used the house rig.
Tuesday was way cool... got to go to Silvercup studios in
And there you have it. Well, I've got stuff to wrap and laundry to put away... will the excitement never end! OMFG!
Here's a little video I found. I'm not going to put it in here, but the link will take you to You Tube. It's a Charlie Brown Kwanzaa.... very very funny, but REALLY raunchy and foul. Make sure you have headphones and the kids aren't nearby, cuz WOW. Ta!
"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)
2006-12-10
So what else? I dunno. Jingle Ball is coming up this week, as is Brancato Christmas. I'm looking forward to that last bit. For those of you out there not related or in the know (I don't think you really exist, but hey...) my Father's family gets together on the Saturday before Christmas to celebrate and do all that stuf that most people do on Dec. 25th. It just makes life a little easier and allows us to kinda remove an extra stress of travel on the 25th, as well as extending the holiday by a little bit. It's nice to be able to sit down and actually hang out with your family without having to worry about when do we have to be at the in-laws house and who's showing up for dessert and who's not. I know that this weekend's not technically the Saturday immediately before Christmas, but I think that having both halves of my family together at my parent's house in the space of 3 days is more Christmas than anyone can handle.
Something else I want to turn you guys on to: Woot.com. This site is AWESOME! Ok, well, it's great if you're a dork like me. They sell gadgets and random crap for really low prices. The catch is that they only do one item a day, and once it sells out, it's gone. They update at 11:59pm Central time (12:59 EST) every day. So don't be late! Or else you might miss it. Well, that's not entirely true. Most items are usually still available by 8 am, but occasionally there's something REALLY cool, and those go fast. There's also Wine.Woot.com which sells one type of wine each week... good stuff, usually. SO go check it out, and buy stuff in the next Woot-off! OK.
Last but not least, I've found a really fun and interesting diversion the last few days: typing random strings into Google Images. It's interesting to see what comes up: stuff like this, and this, and this. Oh yeah, and this. So go ahead, give it a try. Just be warned that there's some weird stuf out there on the 'net.
"Look at how those legs go all the way up and make an ass out of themselves."
Stephen Tyler (1948 - )
2006-12-05
I just wanted to post this, tho, as proof that there is no such thing as a slow news day:
Clooney's pig dies
Oh yeah. That's right. The headlines never lie. That's 159 articles there as of 8:24 am. Wow.
And in case you missed this one, there's yet another reason not to eat at Taco Bell.
"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it."
- Mahatma Gandhi (1869 - 1948)
2006-11-24
You may be wondering why I'm making such a big deal out of this, and I'll tell you. $5 million is almost 5 times the total donations given to Project Renewal in the past year. YEAR. Project Renewal is an organization that helps give food, clothing, shelter, and medical care to New York's homeless. They give people a second chance. They could use the money.
America's Second Harvest, the largest hunger relief organization in the country, could always use an extra $5 million. Or perhaps Canada's Second Harvest would have been a better choice. There's always Amnesty International, an organization that works to guarantee basic human rights around the world, if you're not into the whole "feeding other people" thing.
I guess my point is that I could think of better things to do with $5 million than to shoot a specially engineered golf ball into the planet's atmosphere using a gold plated golf club. It just seems to me that this was not just a publicity stunt, but a big 'ol F U in the faces of some of the less fortunate. You know, kind of a "Let them eat cake". So, yeah. Hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving, and now you know what to do with the leftovers.
"The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value."
- Charles Dudley Warner (1829 - 1900)
2006-11-23
"You know, there really aren't any Thanksgiving songs, are there?"
-Amanda DelGiudice
2006-11-20
SO I was in the supermarket today and noticed a sign at the end of the dairy aisle. It said "Natural Foods." And I thought to myself, "So, what does that make the rest of this crap? Unnatural food? I don't want to eat THAT." Just a good rule of thumb: if you can't pronounce more than 2 items on the ingredients list, you're probably holding hair spray, and therefore shouldn't eat it. Unless it's a Twinkie. Then it's ok.
"She said "You ain't ugly, you can kiss me if you like""
- Belle and Sebastian, White Collar Boy
2006-11-17
In other news, Republican leaders in Congress have voted Congressman Boehner as their new leader. And I'm not making that up. Now, he may pronounce it Bay-ner, but we all know how it's really said. And this one, here, well, alls I can say is too little, too late. Oh, yeah, and told ya so.
One last thing: I think I know why Ed McMahon hasn't sent me a check yet, despite your avalanche of emails and letters. It's because he's jealous. Awww yeah.
"The journey of a thousand leagues begins from beneath your feet."
Lao-Tzu (604 BC - 531 BC)
2006-11-15
- Pearl Buck (1892 - 1973)
2006-11-13
That's right: The Radio Galaxy at the Crossroads, last Saturday night. What an awesome show. They keep getting better, and I can't get anyone to come see them! Ah well, maybe my week with Guster (which begins tomorrow, btw) will help. Well, back to programming. And get your butts out to a Galaxy show sometime soon, or else!
Coming Soon! The story of Don Omar and the Garden of Hell!
"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
2006-11-08
Oh, yeah, and the Democrats won back some seats in the Congress. Not that you'd care about that. Or the fact that gay marriage is now banned in over half the states in the country. And what about the fact that your vote may not have counted at all? No, that doesn't matter. Because Brit is on her own now, and K-Fed is officially a has been. At least, until they make up and get married again.
The news media makes me sick.
"Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half."
- Gore Vidal (1925 - )
2006-11-07
- Shirley Temple (1928 - )
- I know, I know, I thought she was dead too!
2006-11-04
"Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?
Jules: [scoffs] Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot fuckin' master.
Vincent: Given a lot of 'em?
Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be ticklin' or nothin'.
Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage?"
-Pulp Fiction
2006-11-02
"You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth."
Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
2006-11-01
2006-10-30
Some of you may remember me talking about a really weird Skittles ad I saw this summer. Here it is, in all it's disturbing glory:
For those of you who still don't quite understand what I do, try this. Click on "Create a Rock Show" in the upper left hand corner and have fun!
And there you have it. Until next time, adios, chihuahuas!
"Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast."
Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
2006-10-28
So I promised an explanation for my little attempt at a scientific experiment earlier this month, and I will give it. Due to the overwhelming response, we can now safely say that 40% of the population believes 9/11 was in fact an attack on America by Islamic extremists, 40% of the population believes 9/11 was a hoax perpetrated by the Bush administration to justify the war in Iraq, and 20% of you faithful readers think there isn't enough evidence to decide. Well, it's no Gallup Poll, but I think we have some definitive evidence here.
Personally, I'm in the "Not Enough Evidence to Decide" category. I have a hard time believing that my government, if not my chosen representatives, but my government nonetheless, could have anything to do with such a heinous and evil action. Now, I'm not saying we don't do things like this on a regular basis (Panama, Greneda, Venezuela, Chile, Iran, Iraq, etc. etc. etc.), but we don't do it against our own people. We just don't. I mean, for starters, think of how huge this conspiracy would have to be if our government was involved: the White House, the Air Force, the airlines, some even think the Navy and other military would have to be involved. And, I'm sorry, but there are WAY too many sailors on a US Navy vessel carrying Tomahawk missiles or on a US Air Force base for a Tomahawk to slam into the Pentagon without SOMEBODY in the military a. knowing about it, and b. coming forward and saying so. That is the worst argument I've ever heard and I hope the people spouting that crap get a Tomahawk missile in a very uncomfortable place (like the back of a Volkswagen).
So my theory goes something like this: we will never know for sure how complicit the government was in 9/11. Much like Pearl Harbor, I think that future generations will judge the act as horrible and cowardly, and look at the evidence that President Bush and members of his National Security staff knew something was coming and did little about it (there were warnings in the press about a terrorist attack in late August, but nobody took it seriously) and say that Bush let it happen to further his agenda in Iraq. Like we now speculate (because, again, we'll never know) that FDR let Pearl Harbor happen so that the US could justify entry into WWII, future historians will make the same speculations about 9/11. My personal opinion is that those conclusions are not far from the truth.
And much like the Nazi party did with the Reichstag in the 1930's, his administration and the Republican party have used the attacks to justify drastic and dramatic changes in our laws, our civil liberties, and our overall way of life. Future generations will hopefully look back on this and judge accordingly. Whether or not the changes are for the better is up to us to decide. Fortunately, we have the opportunity to fix these problems, and change our government.
One way or another, George W. Bush let 9/11 happen by not going after Al Qaida. This much is established fact. What I can't understand is why we let him continue to screw up. It seems like the worse he screws up, the more we reward him. But we don't care, because our tax cuts are in the mail, and our grandkids get to pay for it.
So I hope you all feel more enlightened. I'm hoping to have something funny for my next post. Stay tuna'd.
Almost frogot. [sic] BIIIIIG news! I'm doing two shows as LD for Guster next month! For those of you who don't know, Guster is a band I've been listening to for several years now, I really enjoy their music and they always put on great shows. I just hope I'm up to the task! Well, I have to get back to the Hippin' and the Hoppin' and the Bippin' and the Boppin' now, so until next time!
"Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth."
- Franklin D. Roosevelt (1882 - 1945)
2006-10-20
Today's adventure brings us to the Verizon Center, formerly the MCI Centrer, and not the Cap Centre. We won't even get into USAir Arena. It's day two of the Don Omar tour, even tho it's been a week since day one. Yeah, it's that kind of tour. Nothing especially wonderful to report, unfortunately. I took the Amtrak to DC this time, which was new. I've never done that before... it's different. I think I like it better than flying. If you factor in the time you spend waiting at the airport, it takes about as long. The only difference is that I don't have to wear a seat belt, I can use my computer or cell phone the whole trip, and I never have to put my seat back and tray table in the upright and locked position. I like that.
So, yeah, life's been pretty boring, even tho I haven't done much more than work non stop for the last 3 weeks. Maybe that's why. Who knows. Yeah, so here's your quote:
"If I was more complacent and I let things slide, my life would be easier, but you all wouldn't be as entertained. My misery is your pleasure."
2006-10-12
So I promised a blurb about the Ian Anderson gig from hell, and here it is:
Last week, I went to this town called
So now let me tell you some more about my new favorite state in the Union, Connecticut. Apparently, up here, it's illegal to serve someone 2 drinks at the same time. So, say you wanted a shot of whiskey with your beer. Nope. Not happening. You can't even buy a shot. You can buy the liquor straight up, but you can't buy an actual "shot." I guess boilermakers aren't real popular here. Plus, you have to finish your beer before they can serve you the whiskey. What an absolutely stupid law. And the only place it's enforced? Yupers: Mohegan Sun casino. Which wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that everything else in this wonderful Valhalla of a state closes at 10:30!!!!Sons of motherless goats! And I can't even get the damn internet here: there's no wireless at our lovely two star hotel, and the wireless in the arena is turned off. They keep telling us it's on, but somehow nobody can get the signal. Funny thing that. And I think the trough they're feeding us out of is making me ill: I haven't had an appetite for 2 days now. This place sucks. I'm going home now.
Here's a pic of the emergency release handle from the trunk of our rental car. I just think it's really funny that the little guy is jumping out of the trunk. I have to wonder what people like Tony Soprano would think of these. Do they remove them from the car? That would be a good gag for a gangster movie
"I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere."
Unknown
2006-10-04
One-third infant deaths premature
Brought to you by the Sydney Morning Herald. What I want to know is this: if 1/3 of infant deaths are premature, what are the other 2/3 ??? Did they live a full and complete life in those few months? Hello. Now, I know what this headline was supposed to say, but it doesn't. It says that 1 out of every 3 infants that die exit before thier time. What I want to know is, what do the other two do so that we as a society believe that their life was well spent?So here's one for the brilliant editors over there at the SMH: Unemployment checks one-third regular pay. Allright!
"If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur."
Doug Larson
2006-10-02
1. The obvious: MySpace.com is owned by NewsCorp. And NewsCorp is owned by one of the most evil men alive, Rupert Murdoch. Yes, that's opinion, but it's a widely held one. And if you don't have an opinion, then click on his name up there and read "Recent activities" and "Murdoch and Politics," then tell me he isn't evil. Or you could just ask his 3 wives. In July 2005, MySpace.com, its servers, it's employees, and all of it's 90 million plus (at the time) readers was quietly purchased by NewsCorp. Why? Could it be that having 106 million (current) young people telling you exactly what they want is the best market research around? Or maybe the fact that the site generates more advertising revenue than Yahoo!? After all, that many captive viewers only comes around once a year (hint: think football game). So why is this evil, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you: MySpace was designed to be a place where bands could get their music out to the public for free. That's it. It's not a corporate tool. It's not supposed to be another link in the chains that corporations use to bind us and control us. How, you ask? How many MySpace friends have you met in real life? And how many of them do you think are being paid to pass on a band or movie? Think I'm paranoid? Think it's bullshit? Well, I've got 4 words for you: Snakes. On. A. Plane.
2. The Experts: PC World magazine rated MySpace as #1 in the 25 worst websites. Why? Well, you can read the full article here. But to summarize: MySpace is poorly designed. Users can upload pictures, audio, video, and all kinds of other kak onto their pages. The metaphor that PC World used was that most pages are more cluttered than a "teenager's bedroom after a tornado." And it's true. Have you ever seen some of these pages? The wallpaper is mind warping, then there's the Flash movies of photos that go on forever and ever, usually with some kind of lame ass music in the background. And god help you if there' s a video that auto loads: even the fastest of computers with the fastest of connections can be slowed to a mere crawl by just one of these pages. And that doesn't even touch on the REAL menace of some MySpace pages: spyware, spamware, and, the one your Congressman has been harping on all year, predators. Some pages have spyware and spamware embedded into them so that simply loading that link your new friend sent can put all kinds of fun porn on your computer. Yeah! And how do you really know who that new friend is? I mean, he can look at your site and know all about you before he even asks to be your friend. Isn't it weird that you both like the same kinds of music and movies, and his favorite movie is Princess Mononoke too! Oh wow!
3. The War on Drugs: How many of you out there communicate with your friends through MySpace more than through real space? When was the last time you actually went out and had dinner with most of your MySpace friends? And just what the hell does "OMFG ur soooooooooooooo cute LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!" mean, anyway? Since when is that a form of communication? What exactly does this bode for the future? I mean, if you spend more time online updating your page and looking at your friend's pages, when do you have time to actually talk to your friends? When do you go to the bar and just hang out? I'm just waiting for the story about the guy/girl who is suing their boss because they were fired for being on MySpace. It's only a matter of time. And the only people who are worse than MySpacers are Blackberry users. So that's where you are: if you use MySpace, you're only one step above that annoying prick who sits on the train or in the subway, in the waiting room or, god help him, in TRAFFIC tapping away on that horrible little Crackberry, like he's so important he just can't be away from the office for 10 seconds without writing an email. So there you have it: MySpace.com is just as destructive to the lives of it's users as drugs like heroine or cocaine. It's all they think about, it's their entire life. And if you don't use it, they don't really care to know you, because you're not a part of their world.
Special bonus 4th reason why MySpace is evil: All those people that you've known throughout your life that you thought you never had to see again? Yeah, well, they've found your MySpace profile, and they still want to be your friend! Goody!
So, on a completely unrelated topic, I'm going to use this little piece of the internet for scientific research. Ok, well, maybe not that lofty, but amusing still. I'm going to try out a poll here, and if all 3 of you reading this fill it out, we might know a little more than we did 10 minutes ago. So here it is: 9/11 poll: was 9/11 a government conspiracy? Or are the people saying that just a bunch of crackpots? Well, here's your chance to speak up. And it's for science!
Ok well, that's all for now kids. Tune in soon for my next rant: the really bad gig, starring Ian Anderson from Jethro Tull! And: stupid headlines. All on our next episode!
"My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular."
- Adlai E. Stevenson Jr. (1900 - 1965)
2006-09-29
2006-09-28
Yeah. I found this while looking for something else in yesterday's rant. I felt it was just too funny not to share. You can see more like it here.
And today I'm sitting in Charlottesville, Va., waiting for a thunderstorm to pass. Unfortunately, the internet connection keeps going in and out, along with the TV, because they're both run through a SATELLITE! How dumb is that. But since the load in was cancelled due to it being outdoors and electrical storm and all, I'm left to sit here and hope the internet comes back soon so that I can actually post this. Well, ta ta all.
"Since we cannot know all that there is to be known about anything, we ought to know a little about everything."
- Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)
2006-09-27
Yesterday I saw the trailer for Rocky Balboa. You might know this film as Rocky 6. That's right, V then I. S-I-X. For those of you who don't watch ESPN continuously, 24/7 (which is most of you), you might be saying "But, he's got to be 70 by now! How can Sly seriously expect us to believe that this guy is going to get in the ring and fight a man 1/2 his age, and not die? Especially after they made such a big deal about his dain bramage in the last film?" Well, view the trailer here. But don't say I didn't warn you: it's ridiculous.
The second thing that's disturbing me is all this press about this National Intelligence Estimate that's just been released by the Bushies. Basically, the document says that the Secretary of Defense commissioned a study 3 years ago to find out if we were winning the war on terror, then buried the results when they were not what he wanted to hear. And what did they say? America's war on terror is inspiring Islamic fundamentalism. Really. Wow. If any of you people out there reading this found that last bit of information to be a revelation, a surprise, or just plain incomprehensible, please, do us all a favor and have yourself STERILIZED! Then go lock yourself in a cabin somewhere in Montana or West Virginia or in whatever backward place you live and don't come out. EVER. And certainly not to vote.
I mean, come on. That was THE major argument of the Iraq war: fighting this war will not make us safer. And they knew it. And did it anyway. We now have paper evidence of this. If this was any other country in the world, the people would have taken to the streets and strung these leaders up by their naughty bits, but instead we sit and watch Monday night football and holler about our ex-President going on TV and berating reporters for not doing their jobs. Well someone has to do it, jerk. And good for him.
- "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
- Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)
2006-09-21
According to scientists, this is your past. And your future!! Dun dun duhhhhh!
"We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society."
Judith Martin, (Miss Manners)
2006-09-19
So when I got home tonight, I pulled the mail out of the box and noticed that there was one magazine and a whole lot of junk mail mixed in with my bills. The question that ran through my mind is this: Why hasn't Ed McMahon sent me a letter telling me that I've won $1 million? I mean, I get all these bills and applications for credit cards, and while it makes me feel warm and squishy to be pre-approved, it's not the same as having already won $1 million. C'mon Ed, I could use that money. You're slacking, and I don't like it. Get on the ball!
I think we should start a campaign. If we all take just a few minutes a day, starting right now, and write Ed a nice email about how I need that $1 million, and he should get off his fat duff and write me the check, then I'm sure he could only ignore us for a few years before he gets the message. And I'd even give you guys a share. Wouldn't that be swell? So click here to send Ed that email, and keep sending 'em, every day, until I get that check, 'k? 'K.
"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."
- Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)
Just some randomness for today. Not feeling well, tho better than yesterday. Stupid cold.
- "Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it."
- Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968)
2006-09-14
2006-09-12
Makana. Again.
Mmm... just how I like 'em.
"You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing."
Michael Pritchard
2006-09-11
1. Brad Pitt. That sonofabitch. Stole my damn idea. Which I stole from Joe, but that's beside the point. I was all about not getting married until gays can, which is a fantastic political statement and a great excuse to not ever get married (because let's face it: necrophiles will be be able to get married before homos, as long as they want to marry a cadaver of the opposite sex). But no. That jerk had to go and steal my idea and hold a press conference to boot. I guess I'll have to go and get married now, just to be different. And screw you, Brad Pitt! I don't think you're all that gutsy to be taking my idea. Nyah!
2. I just finished watching The Royal Tenenbaums, and I have to say that it gets better every time I watch it. It's just such a well written movie, and the cinematography and editing really accentuate that. It occurred to me, as I was watching, that Ben Stiller really is a good actor. My next thought was "Why doesn't he make more good movies like this one?" I guess there's more money in the stupid comedy he keeps making over and over again; especially since every stoner high school and college student seems to forget that they've already seen it and pays to see it again. But it is a shame that such a talented actor keeps making crappy movies. I think we need an intervention. Ben, listen, you've got an agent. I'm sure he can find better scripts. Hold out for them. Please.
3. Last night, we went to this comedy club in the Village. Wow. I mean, WOW. It was BAD. Really, really, really BAD. I don't normally feel sorry for performers on stage, because they've volunteered for it, but I felt sorry for some of these cats. I mean, they were just not funny. At all. Except for the last guy, a dude named Chris Iacono. He was hilarious. He made it worth the cover charge and other comedians. So keep an ear out for this guy, and go check him out if you get the chance. Just don't get to the club before 10:30, or you have to listen to all the crappy comics.
4. Last and not least, today is the 5th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. For those of you who were living under a rock and missed that, welcome back. It's kind of weird to be in the city today, and I'm not sure why. I just feel like everything should shut down and stop; like business as usual today is wrong. I don't know. I mean, there were cermonies and memorials and photo ops for the politicians; but it all feels so hollow to me, so fake. I think if we want to create a fitting memorial to the dead, we need find the cause of the attacks and fix the root problem. Dropping bombs and killing more people may feel right in the short term, but it won't stop these attacks from happening. All it really does is make the point for people like Osama Bin Laden that the US is evil and uncaring and so flying a plane into a crowded office building is righteous. But whatever. Nobody's listening that hasn't heard this 1000 times. It won't change the status quo, it won't stop our political leaders from killing thousands of Americans and thousands more innocent civilians. The revolution is dead. Much like the baby of the teenage girl that gave birth at her prom and then requested "Unfogiven" from the DJ, it died in the garbage can; discarded, forgotten, ignored, and never given a chance to live.
Well, there you go. Sorry to end on such a depressing note, but that's just where I am now. I never promised you it would be good, I just said it would be.
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
- Mel Brooks (1926 - )
2006-09-08
There's a couple of observations I want to make right off the bat, here: first, runway models are disgustingly skinny. I was watching a rehearsal before and thought to myself that I could just get a science class skeleton, rig it to a motor, put clothes and silly looking hair on it and send it down the runway. Nobody would notice. I'm not sure why these women are considered attractive. They don't look healthy. They look like they can barely walk while wearing clothes. Yet we keep taking their picture.
The DJ is playing a song right now by Wolfman Jack. I thought he was just a disc jockey, but apparently he recorded some stuff too. It's pretty good.
So Tracy, the woman I'm working with this week, had this hat on yesterday. I think it really says it all.
It should be a very interesting week to be in NYC, what with the 5th anniversary and all... I still can't believe Oliver Stone hasn't been strung up from a branch for making that movie so soon. Some people might argue that it's all part of the healing process, but it feels more like they're moving in quick to make a buck, and that's not cool. Maybe if he had something new to contribute, it might be worthwhile, but there doesn't seem to be anything inflammatory, really; except for the timing, of course. It's weird: the last time I worked a fashion week, I mean really worked the whole week and not just a load out here and there, someone flew a couple of airplanes into the WTC. Hopefully, that was just a freak occurance and we won't have to worry about a repeat performance.
I don't know. I guess that's about all... I just can't wait to get home and hit my pillow.
Show #3 just ended, time to change over to the 4th and last of the day (thank goodness). Too bad it won't get started until 10:00...
"I have suffered a great deal from writers who have quoted this or that sentence of mine either out of its context or in juxtaposition to some incongruous matter which quite distorted my meaning , or destroyed it altogether."
- Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947)
2006-09-05
It's bothering me, however, because much of what he says is not only untrue, but outright libel. That's right, it's vicious, hurtful, and serves only to make me seem incompetent and petulant. While I admit that I did post in his space, and I'm sorry if it hurt his feelings; I would like to remind him that it is a public forum designed so that anyone may post. I would hope he would keep this in mind before threatening to have me kicked off of the website.
So, you might ask yourself, what is Mikey going to do about this?
I'm going to take the high ground. While I have barrels of gasoline that I can throw on this fire, I won't. It's not worth it. I've known this person for long enough to know that when he says stuff like this, you can't listen. You can't take it personally. Except that this time, he has made it personal. I may be able to forgive him, but I can never forget it. There are some things that just can't be taken back once they're said, and I only hope that I have enough self restraint to not say the myriad of things that have gone through my head in the last few hours the next time I see him.
- "The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts."
- William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)
2006-09-04
Please note: this rant originally written 9/3/06 in Microsoft Word. Why? Because I refuse to sign up for a yearly contract just to use the WiFi at the
Now, on to the rant du jour: poseurs. You know who I mean. That jerk that insists on standing on your feeder through the whole show. The skank ho that stands in front of the monitor desk so she can see the lead singer. The 500 or so people who cram into the 30 sq ft of FOH so they can “get the real feel of the show.” You’ve seen them. You hate them. But you have to deal with them. They’re FOB (friend of the band) or related to the record company or the local rock DJ’s second cousin’s neighbors ex-girlfriend. They’re not trying to make our life harder, yet they can’t help it: it’s their destiny. But I’m not talking about them.
No, this is about the 1% of those poseurs who think they’re “special.” They don’t understand that this is our job. It’s what we do. Every day. All year. For some reason, these people think that because a band is famous; because they are public figures, it’s ok to take a “souvenir”, a little something to remember the show. Because the laminate or sticky that the tour manager gave them isn’t enough. They need to have a pick, or set list, or a drum stick, or head, or snare drum, or maybe even a guitar. Whatever they can fit under their jacket and sneak past security. These are the kind of poseurs I’m talking about today.
What precipitated this rant, you might ask? Well, I’ll tell you.
Last night, I was at Red Rocks in
Now, why this particular jerk thought he could walk up to the guitar box and take something out without anyone noticing, I’m not sure. Whether or not he was going to steal the chicken, I don’t know. Should I have let him put the chicken in his bag and then snagged him? Maybe. But why let it go that far? He was someplace he didn’t belong, doing something he shouldn’t, and that’s good enough for me.
I would just like to know what he thought he was doing. He was a guest, of either the band or the producer, I don’t know (probably the producer, because the production assistant didn’t know who he was). I’ll repeat that, just in case it didn’t sink in: he was a GUEST. Whomever gave him a pass was responsible for him and his actions. If you can’t keep an eye on your guests backstage, don’t invite them. Don’t get them backstage passes. Period. Why? Because this is my place of business. This is where I work. I have expensive gear, and I have plenty of things to do during the show; babysitting your girlfriend’s sister’s cousin’s former roommate and her boyfriend are not one of them. If you can’t be responsible for them, don’t invite them. And if you can’t at least take 30 seconds and tell them to stay out of the f’n way and don’t touch anything; then get them a nice pair of lawn seats. They can’t f anything up from out there.
Sometimes, I really want to just walk into an office building and go around, sitting on people’s desks and walking in to the middle of their meetings and leaving half drunken cups of beer on their filing cabinet; taking their mouse or the picture of their wife and kids off their desk. Maybe then they’ll understand.
Anywho, that’s about all I got on that one. I’m sure there’s a hundred thousand stories just like this one, and most a lot worse, but this ones’ my most recent, and I know it won’t be the last. Until they let us start shooting poseurs on sight (write to your Senator and Congressman today!) we’ll just have to keep putting up with it. Take a deep breath, let it out slow, and stay vigilant.
“Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.”
William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)
- "He's the kind of a guy who lights up a room just by flicking a switch."
- Unknown
2006-09-01
Anyway, there's two things on my mind today: Tropical Storm Ernesto and foaming hand soap. We'll start with the first.
So Ernesto is heading up the coast and straight at Maryland (it's acutally there right now). While I wouldn't say I'm worried about my friends there, I am thinking about them and hoping they don't wind up under water. Again. Ernesto is no Isabel, but it's still alot of water to get dumped on them at one time. Keep your heads dry, MD.
I'm also concerned because I have to get on a plane on Sunday, and I really hope that storm is gone. If it slows down even a little bit, it will be sitting right over Newark Airport and then I'm in some trouble. I really don't want to spend any more time in Denver Int'l than I have to. Refer to yesterday's post if you're wondering why.
Part 2: Foaming hand soap. Can someone please explain this crap to me? I keep running into this stuff all over the country and I can't figure out why. It doesn't clean my hands, it feels weird, and it's just confusing. I squeeze it from the dispenser and start to put it on my face before I realize I'm not shaving. So why does it exist? I'm calling for a general boycott of this completely useless product until someone can explain to me why it's better than regular liquid soap. And don't tell me that you can fit more in a container, because I have to use twice as much to get my hands something resembling clean, so what's the point of that? And this broad has WAY too much time on her hands (among other things). Either that, or Wegman's is paying far too much for fake reviews.
Ok, that's enough randomness for now. Here's your quote:
"The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for."
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
2006-08-31
On the way to the hotel, we saw this sign:
Welcome to Colorado! Shouldn't that sign read: "Correctional Facility Do Not Stop." ?
Uncle DJ came to the show last night, which was really cool. He came early and we went to dinner, then met up with his neighbor, John, and his brother-in-law Ron (yeah, I know). They really enjoyed the show, which was great to hear. I was just happy to see Uncle D and hang out with him: it seems like I almost never get the chance.
Billy and I wandered around the Colorado Mills mall for about 3 hours today: it's a huge mall. It's not unlike the one that Fifi, Noel, Dietz and I did the opening for last September. Same developer. But it was good that I went, because I finally got the battery for my phone replaced. I dropped it in a puddle a few months ago, and since then the battery dies after about 10 minutes of talking, even if I just took it off the charger. So I got the new one, we'll see how it works. The coolest part, however, is that they had a custom T-shirt shop there. So I finally bought the shirt that I've been talking about for a few years now: I know, hold back your excitement... here it comes...
Yeah, I know. You can't help but feel awed by the coolness of knowing yours truly. It's ok. I might even let you touch it the next time you see me...
- "To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)
2006-08-28
Scranton wasn't bad, except for the never ending rain. Other than that, nothing special, really. I'm kinda groggy from being in bed all day, so I'll continue this later...
Ok, so now I'm back. So here's a question that popped into my mind yesterday: Why is it, that when you get a fancy, $135/night hotel room, they give you the rough toilet paper? I mean, for the money spent on that hotel room, don't you think they'd have enough to give you the soft stuff? And there wasn't even a robe in the room either? What kind of hotels do they have here in Green Bay, anyways? This casino is so ghetto: it's only slot machines, the resturaunt had the worst service, and the entertainment last night was Nelson. Yeah, that Nelson. Vid (the production manager) thought that was hilarious, because Nelson opened for Cinderella when he was Cinderalla's PM in the late 80's. So after dinner I wandered through the casino, had a drink with Vid, and then hit the hot tub. It wasn't that hot (literally). The board in the pool area said it was 104 deg, but it felt more like 95. I was all alone, which was nice, until some fat broad and her husband showed up. So I went to the suana for a schvitz. After that, I poked my head into the sports bar in the hotel, where some really heinous Japanese torture ritual was being performed for all the patrons. After hearing the beginning of Summer Nights, I beat feet for my room and went to bed.
The gig is pretty easy, house lights in a tent, wow. We're having Gov't Mule shirt day instead of Hawaiian shirt Tuesday because managment made a big deal about someone wearing a Mule shirt the other day and told us that we're not allowed to wear Mule shirts on stage. And that's about that. Well, back to not working...
- "Why a four-year-old child could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can't make head or tail of it. " - Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
2006-08-26
I haven't written in a while because I just don't feel like it. Don't got much to say. I'm kinda miserable right now, and I can't wait to be home. I don't really know why, except to say that there are certain people on this tour that have been here for way too long, and they seem to have forgotten why they do this. I'm not having fun right now, and that really sucks because my job is way too much work to not be fun.
That being said, Amanda and my Mom came out to the Garden State Arts Center show (note: NOT PNC Bank Arts Center. Those corporate jerks can take a hike for all I care) with Aunt Fran and Robert. It was fun to watch Rob backstage: his wide eyed excitement helped me remember why I do this in the first place. There's so many bitter and angry people around me every day; I often feel like the only reason many of them are here is money. And that really sucks. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who are here because they love what they do, and we have a good time, but it seems like the small percentage of anger and bitterness ruins that. And it's making me miserable. I don't know if I could do this for 3 months. But I digress...
Having Rob at the show was a really good time. I enjoyed watching him; he was so INTO the show... it's a great memory that I'll keep for a long time.
The rest of the tour has been pretty uneventful: NC had a pretty slow crew until we got to Atlanta, where I swear we built the rig 3 times. Every time I turned around it was like I had to stop the hand from doing what he was doing and explain it again. New Hampshire: NH has to be the only place I've been so far that I like less than Detroit. I've only been there twice, but both experiences have been dreadful. It truly is hell with trees. And now we're in Boston. It's actually not going too badly today: a couple of gremlins early on, but I hope we have them worked out. (great, I just jinxed it). Tomorrow is Scranton, Pa, then a big long bus ride to Green Bay. I can't wait.
Ok, so this short little post has now gone on longer than expected. I'm going to go take a nap now. Reese's Pieces.
- Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809 - 1894)